You need to give yourself a huge 'ole break sweetie! It's OK to be a little obsessive about this right now. I think if you weren't, I'd wonder a little.. This is a huge change in your life, a huge "start-over" a way to hit reset on your body. Anyone who is going to have surgery is apt to be thinking about it a whole lot as the date draws near whether it's elective, mandatory, whatever... lapband included. Of course you're going to be thinking about this nonstop! A new way of eating WILL become your new normal in the future. It felt strange for ALL of us in the beginning and anyone who says different is not telling their whole story. But take it one day at a time.. hell! take it one hour at a time if that's better. Don't try to wrap your mind around this whole thing emotionally or physically in such a short time...cause you WILL get overwhelmed and make yourself crazy. And it does affect those around you especially family members. And this will become a new normal in time, too. Lighten up on yourself and as much as you're feeling down, feel excited!!! The anesthesia alone will be fun!

I consider it a privilege to be a reader of your blog. What you are going through is tough and then there is the real life drama too. I know when I get to where you are I will be venting a lot also cause I dont want to tell a lot of people. Most people dont understand.....they think its an easy fix....just eat less blah blah blah. I told my family I didnt want anyone outside of the family knowing. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was looking into it to my ex mom in law and she said "just use a small plate"..............well then, tada.....I should be thin. Anyways, feel free to vent as much as you want, those of us who care will read and be here for you. Take care.

Tanya

Trust me when I say that most of us on this site are emotional eaters. I know I have/had a very personal relationship with food. I used it when time were great to celebrate and to calm nerves when I was stressed. I think that is probably the hardest part of this journey is redefining your relationship with food. At least that has been mine. I just tell myself that this is a journey. I have not been perfect. However, when I do hit a bump in the road, I get back up, refocused and keep moving forward. It is normal to have all of those feelings. You are just beginning your journey. It is important to share with those who understand exactly what you are going through. Guess what....we never get tired of hearing it because we totally understand. I am down 55 lbs in a little over 5 month. You will soon be there as well!

First...virtual HUG!! I know this is very frustrating and it's hard when you are going it alone and by alone I mean not with someone who has had lapband or getting it as well. Other's mean well but really don't understand and sometimes end up saying hurtfull or insensitive things.

As DADKINS8 said, this is redefining your relationship with food but also with yourself. You have to come to terms with what you are doing and why. Pre-op sucks. Plain and simple. Once you have the band you have a whole new focus but you will have your band helping with the decisions. It won't be so stressful.

I feel your pain with the protein shakes. They are just plain nasty! I see people talk about the shakes they love. Really? I never found a one that I could drink without gagging. I have this thing with food textures. Liquids should not be gritty. YUCK!

Keep your eye on the prize. This will all be worth it. When you are looking back you will be proud of all that you have gone through because it will make you that much stronger. Those of us here will be with you along the way.

Thank you all for the encouragement feeling better. Just had a weak I wanna vent moment and thanks for listening. Even if I was not having surgery it is just a bad time in my life lots going on and its hard to make a decision to go ahead at the risk of making things financially worse. But I would rather have debt then not be alive. I cried, I got a shake down. Found that if I will drink some chicken broth after it sooths the nausea. I will survive and keep the days ticking...

Hang in there. I know I constantly think about how much time I have between meals. Not because I'm hungry, but because I am concentrating on not eating too early. I have medication that I have to take an hour before I eat in the morning and then meds I take when I go to bed. I have a medication for PCOS, that I don't take, because the pills are too big. I called the pharmacy and they said it would be okay to crush these pills, but I keep forgetting and besides, I'd have to add it to applesauce. I guess a little applesauce in the afternoon between meals wouldn't hurt.

By the way, I know I didn't think a lot about how my husband was going to deal with our difference in eating. It's gone pretty good. He eats the same amount as he normally does and doesn't give me a hard time about how I have to eat. He actually feels bad that I have to chew so much and he finds himself unconsciously chewing his foor more also!

Anyhow, like I said. hang in there. Feel free to message me, if you'd like.

RACHAEL, TAKE ONE LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL OF YOU. YOUR A HOTTIE!!!!!! WHEN ALL THIS LAPBAND OP IS OVER YOU CAN SLOW DOWN AND FIND YOUR OWN PACE FOR WEIGHT LOSS. AND WHEN HUBBY LOSES HIS MIND, JUST SAY DON'T WORRY BABY, WHEN I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY OLD WARDROBE, IT WILL BE HIS TURN TO CRY.

HANG IN SWEETIE. WE ARE HERE WHEN YOU NEED US.

DEBI

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Hang on girl; let's just take a breath and slow down for a minute. First of all: This is some stressful stuff YOU are dealing with; YOU...not your husband or co-workers or family members or friends: YOU. And you're absolutely right; no one really gets this unless they've been through it, but you're going to be fine. And there comes a time as all fat people know where you decide: you decide if you're going to live your life in the same old miserable way, OR if you're going to make a change. You have a right to be selfish on this; it's your life we're talking about. And your husband is a grown ass man! Hell, he won't starve to death. Are his legs broken? What? Who's making him eat the same thing you eat? YOU are not starving him; if he's starving then he's starving himself. He can fix a damn sandwhich the same as any of us. And yep, you are doing this to yourself; THANK GOD! You're trying to better your life and be happy, so more power to you, honey! Sooner or later you will have to stand up to the people who, joking or not, try to poke, poke, poke at you until you give up or doubt yourself.

Now- what's going on, exactly? Are you post op? Are you on a post op liver diet? If so, then God help you...but it is something you can do and this too shall pass. So, if you don't like that grainy protien stuff there's bound to be other stuff you can use? What kind of diet restrictions do you have? Take a trip to Bath and Body, get you some "Stress Relief" body soak or sugar scrub, grab a good book and load up your MP3. Relax, clear your head and for at least one hour don't think about diet-lapband-calorie-carb-ANYTHING...then get back to me. K?

By the way, chickie, you're HOT already. Watch out world when that weight is off!

Pre-op got to me too - I got so tired of jello that i just couldn't eat any more of it! I was on optifast and the soups are what saved me - I HAVE NEVER BEEN A BIG "SWEETS" PERSON SO IT WAS HARD TO DO THE DRINKS (oops caps lock) hang in there - it helped me to mark off the time on the calendar and post funny comments on facebook.