Do I DESERVE to get banded?
Well here is the truth!! I am 28y/o female that weighs 304Ibs. I have a wonderful husband, and sadly no kids yet! I have struggled with my weight all my life. I was even called by some a gordita but always with affection and the crazy thing is I embraced it. I was always the one who was told " you are so beautiful and just think if you could lose a little more weight how much more beautiful you would be". Well years past and a few years ago I became an LPN and my husband supported my decision to continue in school to become a RN. All through my marriage of almost 5years I was in school. So 2010 was a year of completion for me. I started working at a wonderful hospital, and fortunately for me I found out that they had a weight management center that offered bariatric surgery to employees that carried hospital insurance. (They have a deal worked out with Humana). I contacted the weight loss center and attended a band seminar October 2010 only a few months after I statred working there and the rest is history. The month of January as flown bye with EKG, EGD, Psy consult, medical consult, surgical consult. And my last month of three months of required supervised weight loss with a total loss of 9pounds. As of today I have realized that I am scared that I won't be able to eat some of the foods I enjoy now, so I find myself eating every thing right now only weeks before getting banded. I start the 17th on my liver reduction diet. So I only have the next few days to eat what I want. In a way I feel really bad about this attitude that towards food that I have been having lately. And exercise!!! What’s that? That is another thing that I have been sucking at also. It is freezing outside and I have no gym membership because I have been saving for my personal trainer that I am hiring for after the band. I feel like I am putting aot of faith into other things like the PT and the "band" instead of myself. A few days ago I went to my GYN doc because I was have abnormal bleeding issues and she said after viewing my ultrasound that my female parts look great and the abnormal bleeding is caused by this increased weight and that when I am ready to have babies again when I am down to a healthy size (that’s a whole different blog) she see no problem in me getting pregnant. I guess I really feel like this whole bariatric surgery has just been handed to me and I am not doing "my part" pre-banded. I guess I now understand when people say its the fear of the unknown that causes the most fear. I have no idea what i am to be feeling right now!!!
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