Saw my doctor for the first time in almost 3 months. Expected to get a big lecture on my fantastic 18 pound gain. Thankfully, he was very kind. Filled me up, 2cc's, and sent me on my merry way.

Why did I gain? Why did I stop going to see him? It started as being fed up with not being able to eat and vomiting all the time. The last time I saw him, he removed most of my fill. I don't know what happened after that. I got really stressed out with hubby in Afghanastan. Mom being sick. Everything was totally overwhelming. And damn, it was so nice to eat bread!!! I love carbs. I'd missed carbs. Then it was suddenly Thanksgiving. Why not enjoy it with my family, eating next to them, normally. And Christmas. Part of Christmas is baking goodies, right? Yea, I did my part. And my neighbors part, and your neighbors part. I baked my brains out.

But those are just excuses. I made the decision every morning, not to work out, not to follow my diet. And now, I feel awful. All that hard work, down the tubes. I can't believe how easy it was to gain. It didn't take long at all. Pretty damn easy. Sadly, it won't be that easy to take it off.

But, I am ready. I want to hit my goal this year. I know I can. I know I will. 80 pounds in 12 months. I CAN DO IT!!!! Then watch out Hawaii, here I come!