Free Falling
As this two year hike up mount Everest comes to a end, I look back and it seems like yesterday I was battling with this decision to have WLS. Questions like If I can't do it or don't have the will power to do it on my own how is this magic little tool going to help me succeed? I pray that I have prepared myself in order to under stand this is not a cure all surgery and it IS going to take effort on my part more then I probably realize. I can say it a hundred times over and over "This band is not going to cure me! I have to cure myself" sounds like I have it worked out in my mind but saying and doing are two WAY different things. I am doing everything possible research getting involved hear learning everything I can. Making meal plans for my pre op diet which I feel lucky compared to some out there getting to actually eat on my diet just sort of a atkins diet with meal replacements its called the Robard diet. Not to mention I get to skip a few days since there are technically only 12 days before my surgery and the time I started my diet. Anywhoo... With everything you have to learn and knowledge you must take in and lifestyle changes and doctors visits all these bells and whistles you must silence until you hear those sweet little words... your approved I feel as if I am twirling around in a dark room hearing voices all around me. I can not see those standing in the shadows. I often feel alone. There words of wisdom seems to over whelm me at times. And then I feel as if I am falling. Falling toward a date Jan 25th down the other side of the mountain I just climbed. What will happen when I hit the bottom I have no clue but I will fall. Anyone else feel like they are Free Falling with me?
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