It's funny the way things change... perception, idea, desire. Simple fact, life changes and we adjust.

When I first heard about this crazy lapband I thought it was insane that people could survive off of so litte and not be starving all the time. I saw results and read endless forums on the subject before I decided it was worth looking in to. I was terrified to tell my family, because most have the whole just eat less and exercise speech even though they don't know how to do that themselves. If you've never had a weight problem, you're skinny, eat what you want, and lazy...well it's not because you did the right thing you were just lucky! I know how to eat I know how to exercise. I just can't keep the weight off once I get it off. A normal person can have a bad day and not regain every thing they've lost. You give up after a while and before you know it you weigh 346 lbs. I was at the end of the rope and freaking out. I finally decided that this is my life and I wanted it for myself. In fact my brother and one of my closest friends decided to get it done at the same time.

With the support of my husband, I started the process to get banded in July '09 and did not get banded until June '10. It was a long and ridiculous wait to get it done and I just didn't think I could get through it. The time FINALLY came and things went smoothly. I lost 21 lbs the first month after surgery and still I felt like the process would take SO LONG. I started out with a goal of wanting to lose 186 pounds. Seemed unreachable.

I made a spreadsheet and I count every little fraction of a pound I lose. Some people say that's not good, but what I've found is that over the last 7 months I can see those periods where I felt like the weight was coming off slow and see that all those 10ths of a pound added up and 7 months down the road I am 99 lbs lighter. It gives me motivation.

Reading that I make it sound like BAM miracle cure I was banded and YAY I'm skinny! Not even close! I'm not skinny... yet, but I'm sure as heck trying! I have a calorie counter on my phone and I wear that sucker out! I know what I'm eating and what affects my weight loss now. I exercise 4-6 hours a week. I'm not talking a casual walk around the neighborhood here, I'm talking arms swinging, sweat pouring, breathing increased cardio. Just like everyone else when I started this trip I was too tired from work and too tired from my 2 yr old to get a work out in. Things have changed! If I skip out on my exercise I'm miserable and feel guilty! My moto is what sucks to day is a memory tomorrow! I'll get on that treadmill and suck it up today!

I remember before I got my band adjusted right that there was no way I could eat as little as they say. Well, here I am again going wow I can't believe that just filled me up. I can't believe I used to eat that ENTIRE burrito plate, chips, and nibble on my hubby's plate. Now if we go out to eat I get a cup of beans and like 6 chips and don't even finish the beans. The waiters are always like did you want something else with that cup of beans and look at me like I'm crazy.

This is where SHOCK comes in! My brain goes in to skip mode and I get stuck on a thought. Today it has been wow I'm 99 lbs down. Wow I'm 99 lbs down. OH MY GOD WOW I'm 99 lbs down! I keep rechecking my spreadsheet just to make sure I've got the number right in my head! I keep looking at my weight loss ticker and am amazed that the weight to lose is less than the weight lost! I keep looking at my pictures and going WOW what a difference. I'm proud of my effort and it makes me want to push hard!

I wish I had started a blog from the beginning so that I could see those days where I had lows and highs. Oh well woulda shoulda coulda... this is what I have.

For anyone out there that thinks the band is the "easy way out" YOU ARE WRONG! A girl told me that once. My thoughts are, well keep your pride and keep your fat, I'll take the lap band