Its been a year
Do I regret getting banded?
That seemed to be the question I most wanted answered when I came here about a year ago looking for information and support.
A lot has changed in a year. I am a little less than halfway to my goal now and losing slowly and steadily. 40-whatever pounds doesn't seem like much for a year but I have lost a lot of baggage along with that weight. Like most fat people, each pound had a story attached to it. Each ounce was directly related to a rejection, a sad moment, a time when I didn't even feel worthy enough to express an emotion so I ate it instead. And I can't say that the changes in me are directly related to the lapband, but just making the choice to do it had a profound effect on how I talk to myself and therefore, how I view my own worth.
The most important thing I do differently now is refuse to settle.
I won't fill my body with shitty food because it's cheap or because I don't want it to go to waste.
I won't stay in relationships that aren't uplifting and fulfilling.
I wont belittle myself by behaving in a way that isn't true to me,
I won't do work that deadens my soul.
I don't spend time and money trying to find a less-expensive version of a particular "thing" I want. I save for it and get the real deal because I am worth it.
I have learned that what we settle for is what we get out of life and I absolutely refuse to accept less than what I am worth these days.
So yeah, there are parts of having a band that suck. I hate sliming and sticking and getting coffee "stuck" because I am too stressed out sometimes to get it past the band. And, I haven't lost as much weight as I thought I would by now. But would I change it?
NOT ON YOUR LIFE> OR MINE.
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