I have to say, it's been a while since I last wrote anything. Not much has been going on in my life. I've went through another doctor's appointment in December 14, 2010. That was my fourth month, thank goodness! Time seems to be going by pretty quickly and I love it.

I'm the kind of person who loves list. I have OCD and I'm addicted to them. Recently, I have been making a list on what to expect these next two months. I know in my books they've got plenty of lists but this one is for me.

1. Researching more information – you can never be too prepared

2. Finding my BMI ( which is 48.7)

3. Learning on what to expect before and after the surgery

4. Mentally preparing myself – I've been wanting this for the last 3 years, there isn't much more preparing needed but it's definitely welcomed

5. Going to EMMI (my-emmi.com) ^{**Highly recommended}

6. Pros and Cons of surgery

7. What happens to my body

8. The surgery itself

9. My surgeon

This is just one of the small lists that I have going right now. I'm more excited as each day passes. I only have two more months to go and I'm hoping they will get here without any problems. I'm practically sitting at the edge of my seat. I'm kind of nervous about my surgeon though. When I went to the seminar, I knew that he was the right doctor for me immediately. He's the kind of doctor that doesn't listen to excuses and he's hard-headed. I need that. I want someone mean who will tell me what I'm doing wrong. This isn't the type of surgery where I want someone to hold my hand, it would only seem as another diet to me. I don't want him to take one look at me and decide I'm not really needing this, I'm now at 275 lbs. I need this badly; I'm only 17. On January 1, 2011, I will, finally, be 18 and be able to get the ball moving some more.

My next appointment is January 5, 2011. Its short notice compared to my last doctor's appointment in December but it was oneof the only times available they had and I was willing to take anything rather than wait until February and possible push this surgery back.

I'm excited about everything that has been going on. School has been perfect, I'm a senior, not much more to expect. Half of my year has gone by and I just can't wait to be perfect "normal." I don't want to be the odd person out anymore. I've come to realize that I don't have to "fit" in by anyone's standards. I can create my own but I was a normal last year and I'm hoping by the time May rolls around, I'll be able to be who I've always wanted to me. I need all the support I can get.