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One year and I feel like a failure.....

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AppleG

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I got the Lap band on August 19th 2009. The reason why I got it is because, On October 16th 2008 I was let go from my job, where I've been at for 9+yrs. I felt like I needed a life changing, change. I've been big all my life and I need and wanted something new. So, I decided to get the lap band. The first 4 months went good.... But as time went on my confidence got lower and lower. I couldn't find a job and I stopped caring.... As time went on not caring turned into something more, I was depressed for a long time. Couldn't sleep and feed started to be my friend again. I thought I was back on track in July. After a year and a half I found a job.... But that turned into bad news. My boss was a nasty person and she made it hard for me to do my job as well as she wanted me to. So after 90 days she let me go. It hurt but I wasn't going to let her win.

Now that Christmas has rolled its ugly head around, I'm faced with the fact that without a job, my kids won't have what they really want. So I left them no that this year is, hard on me and in time Christmas will be substituted for another day. See every day its hard to get back on track when my life just sucks right now. Its been a year and almost four months since my surgery. I went to the Dr. 2 months ago, and when I got on the scale I was disappointed. I failed..... And it made me not care when the Dr. just rolled his eyes at me. When I'm feeling disappointed and to see him roll his eyes at me. It made me feel like whats the use of trying. He doesn't no what I've been through in the past year and a half.

I'm trying to keep my head up...... Because I no the sun will shine bright on me. My one goal is to lose 100 pounds and I will do it....

 

 

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Life is sure tough that is for sure! Does your doctor have a counselor or nutritionist you could talk to? Sometimes the docs aren't as understanding and helpful. Remember that Christmas is a time to share your love for your family -- not about how many things we give or receive -- it's a time you can teach your children some important lessons about life -- I know that probably doesn't feel good because you want to give them what they want - but love is the best gift. Also, you should talk to your doc about the depression - perhaps it's time for some medication - it can really help. I know things seem very bleak now, but remember that God loves you and knows what you're going through - stay close to your friends and family, they love you and want to see you succeed. Hang in there!

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Well number 1, congrats on taking the first step to do something for yourself. Number 2 you still have the band. Its there until its removed. That tool is there to help you and can't do everything for you! I very much understand the Christmas woes and financial set back. I am struggling myself as a single mom. For my lap band program there are support groups and the counseling group who cleared me is also available. You can also google Lap band support for your zip code. It might be under Lap Band support groups and the your zip. Never feel like a failure because you have succeeded in so many other areas of your life. If you try and keep on giving your best then there is nothing failure about that. Keep your head up and keep on trucking!! You can always email me at drae0879@gmail.com if you would like some support. But I am gonna warn you. I'm a tough love kinds girl! :0)

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Christmas can be a very hard time of year.The stress is way up there and especially if you don't have a job,but when you feel like giving up just look at your children and see how blessed you really are.Believe me I know we lost our son six yrs. and six months ago.The holidays are extremely hard.I was eating my self to death because of my depression.I finally got a hold of my self and did the lap band after much talking to my psycoligist.If you feel depressed get help for yourself.Its out there and there is no need to suffer needlessly,and please give your children a great big hug and think how lucky you really are.

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Hi there...

I totally agree with the other comments...I too suffer depression & got medicated (so glad I did)...As well, Christmas is so hyped for gifts when there are so many other ways to celebrate...Just a few ideas: Take the kids around to see all the christmas lights (walk or car) with hot chocolate. Get all cozy in the bed and read stories or tell silly stories to each other (my kids love that). Play some games or make some crafts (use pasta or toilet paper rolls - use flour & water as glue) make tree decorations...All inexpensive and it's quality time with your kids - Hope this helps.

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Hello , I have the blog on top of yours on the board. I am a 4yr. failure so i more that relate to you. I also have found a new determination and motivation. I love your outlook. That has encouraged me. I don't believe that only success story's motivate. I get some encouragement from those who struggle and even fail but then find the motivation and detemination to resolve and start again. That is the begining of success. I find i am not alone and others struggle too. I love this ability to find like minded folks who honestly discuss openly our struggles. We can draw from each other.

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This is a journey. Sometimes it feels like being an alcoholic. Food is our alcohol and we fall off the wagon. However, your strength and determination will help you to refocus and move forward. I do use this website as my support from those who understand what I am going through. I am fortunate to have a supportive family, but it is nice to have the support of others who know what I am going through. You are refocusing and you can do this!

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If you look at the lapband as rehab. we have a lot of people in rehab.see My (rehab)Journey is just beginning and I am gonna need someone to be my support,will you be there for me,it really helps to have someone to lean on when you need then,I am fighting a battle with my unemployment agency and they dont want to pay me what I worked for all year to collect when Im out of work,I had to explain about 5 yrs ago to my kids(I have 2 girls)about me not having a job and couldn't buy christmas for them and you know what my youngest told me,Mommy why do you cry about not buying christmas for us when you do for us all year long and you know what I really cryied then because my heart was touched so much, from then on my girls and I would go out and do little special things durring the year so when christmas came around there friends would say I'm getting a psp game this yr. what are you getting,you know what my little girl looks at her friend and says oh yeah I already got that,mom bought that for me when I made an A on my report card,---So dont worry what tomarrow will bring, if you read the bible please read Matt 6:33-36 and this will help you like it has helped me,and keep me in mind because I will really need some support when I get my lapband....dont forget ill look you up....

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LOOK, CHRISTMAS IS A LOUSEY TIME OF YEAR FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THIS YEAR. EVERY DAY WE HEAR TERRIBLE STORIES OF PEOPLE GOING WITHOUT. MAYBE WENEED TO BE REMINDED OF WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT. I M SURE NONE OF THE STORIES YOU HAVE READ TELL OF JESUS AND MARY ARE ABOUT THE RICH LIFE THEY HAD. THEY WERE POOR, SO POOR THAT THEIR HOTEL FOR THE BIRTH OF THEIR SON WAS IN A BARN. WE ARE NOT UNIQUE, MILLIONS ARE SUFFERING WITH NOTHING!!!!!

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW JOIN TOGRTHER AND DRAW STRENGTH FROM EACH OTHER. SIT AND TALK TO THE KIDS ABOUT ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS THEY GOT IN THE PAST. WASN'T IT GREAT THE YEAR I GOT NY FIRST COMPUTER!!!!. MYBE YOUR KIDS WANT TO GATHER UP TOYS THEY DO'NT USE ANYMORE TO GIVE TO KIDS WITH NOTHING. ASK YOUR KIDS TO EACH THINK OF ONE THING THEY COULD DO TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPP Y THIS CHRISTMAS. YOU MAY BE SUPRISED AT THEIR ANSWERS.

AND AS FOR US FATTIES ENJOY CHRISTMAS OR YOU MAY GET AN EMAIL FROM MISS TOUGH LOVE.

LOVE TO YOU ALL

MERRY CHRITMAS DEBI

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:) I would like to say thank you, to you all, I am encourage now..... some of the things you wrote really touched my heart... Thank You. Someone out there maybe going through a harder time then I am and I've come to realize that. And yes Joseph and Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable and they didn't have anything. That by itself shows just how far we've come. Thank You "ALL"

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