I finally decided that, for myself at the minimum, I needed to document my journey!!!! So, here we go:

Life moves fast. I blinked and here it is 2010. I don't know where the last 7 years have gone....it all moves so fast. Just as my decision to have WLS. I have always been completely against bariatric surgery. My mom has brought it up to me several times in the past few years, and each time I definitively shut her down the moment she brings it up. Something changed in me in September. I don't know what or why, but I started researching Lap Band. I called a couple of surgery centers and became increasingly more scared at the multitude of tests required before surgery. I met with one office to actually sit with someone and discuss the procedure, the testing, etc. I was completely at peace. I knew this was the right place for me. I went home and discussed what I had learned with my DH and my mom and both of them were supportive in my decision. The next day I called my insurance company to ask about that option and was told that my insurance didn't cover it. What was I going to do now? This was way more money than I had immediately available. I called my mom and she told me not to worry, we would work that out, just proceed with the consultation appointment to see if I even liked the doctor. So, I did. My consultation was on 10/14/2010. There were some things that stood out as weird, but I liked the doctor and the office staff, well they were less than to be desired, but they weren't the ones responsible for my care.

We left on vacation for 2 weeks so I could sit with this and decided what I really wanted to do. Could I even afford it? How long would the recovery take? Could I be out of work for that long? What would my life be like? Would I tell my family or not? I had a lot of questions to contemplate. So many things during that vacation reaffirmed my decision to proceed with surgery. So, we scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving that way we wouldn't have to take a full week off, but only 3 days.

I started my pre-op diet on 11/8 and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Two weeks of protein only, I could do it!! The day of my surgery I was down 12 pounds and couldn't be happier. Surgery day was scary! I had to be at the hospital at 0500. It was so early that no one was in the lobby or the admitting area Once we finally got checked in, things went pretty quick. I was taken to the outpatient surgery room and checked in there. They gave me a gown and the ugly booties and the hair net. I tried to put the gown on, but it was too big. I asked for a smaller one and for the first time, could actually see myself as a skinny person!!!! I changed gowns, put on the ridiculous booties and laid in the bed. The nurse was great. She was very talkative, calming and patient. I was very nervous as was my hubby. I don't like needles, so the IV was interesting, she did WONDERFUL!!!! After that, it seems like things just went into super speed. I met with the anesthesiologist, told him that I refused to throw up, so he needed to do something to make sure that didn't happen. He joked with me a bit then told me I would get some happy juice to relax me and they would take me to the OR. I also expressed my desire to go to my own bed 4 hours after surgery. He kept saying "we'll see" and I said "No, I don't think you understand. 4 hours pot op and I am outta here!!!!!" Again, he laughed at me and with that he was moved on to the next patient.

My surgeon came in after that and was confused as to which patient was first, so he started talking to the other one first. The nurse came over to me and asked what was going on. She apparently was as clueless as I was....weird. Once the doctor talked to me, the nurse asked me if I had to use the restroom. I didn't so they gave me the happy juice and wheeled me to the OR. I didn't even get to say good-bye to my husband. Once in the OR, I only remember them asking me to move to the operating bed and then placing a huge mask on my face. I remember I couldn't breathe, I was panicking......

Then I woke up crying in the recovery room. I was so out of it, I remember trying to sit up, the nurses were holding me down. I asked them to hold my hands, they asked why and I said I didn't know. Coming out of the anesthesia was scary. I was so tired, yet scared because I didn't know where I was. I wasn't in pain except for when I tried to sit up (duh). At some point I was taken back to the outpatient area because I told them I didn't want a room, I wanted to go home. I remember looking at the clock for the first time at 10:30. One of the outpatient nurses asked me if I wanted some water and apparently I told her no, that I was sleeping. It wasn't until later (like Wednesday) that my husband told me I barked it at her, to which I claim no responsibility as I was under the influence of narcotics!!!! They kept waking me up every few minutes for temperature, blood pressure, water. I was so irritated. I just wanted to sleep. At 12:10 I had enough, so I asked for my clothes, got dressed and walked to the bathroom. Other than being really sleepy and a bit loopy, I was beginning to feel better. At 12:20, the anesthesiologist came in and looked in my bed (I was standing next to it) and said "are you the patient? Holy crap" I said yes and asked if something was wrong. He said no, just that I wasn't kidding about the 4 hours. He then asked my hubby if I threw up and I said no. He laughed and said "thank goodness, I was worried!!!!".

I was DC'd at 12:30 exactly 4 hours post op and at home by 1:15. I slept for most of the day on Monday. Don't remember much of that afternoon/evening. I had trouble sleeping that first night because I am a side sleeper and both of my sides hurt. Port side hurt more than the other, but neither one was comfortable. I finally had to add a bunch of pillows to "sit up" in bed so I could sleep. Tuesday was better. I was in some pain and took 2 pain pills total. Doctor suggested I split them in half so I wouldn't get sick and it turns out that was just enough pain medication for me. So, I slept on and off for most of that day. I did feel like I wanted to get out of the house, so my mom took me to the store so DH could have a break. I think I walked around the store for about 45 minutes, and that was plenty. I came home and took my nap Later Tuesday night I had some random nausea. I'm not sure where it came from, so I took and anti-nausea pill and my last pain med and went to bed.

Wednesday was great. DH had to go to work for a bit, so mom sat with me, just in case. I didn't need any pain meds or nausea meds. I even stayed up all day without a nap! I was feeling so good!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I was 2 days post op and had minimal pain. Was this just luck? I was so happy. Oooooo, then the shoulder pain started. I didn't know what was going on, but it was accompanied with chest pain. I broke down and called the doctor. This was the first time I had talked to him since the surgery. I told him what was going on and he said he thought it was the port tubing and I should be fine in a few days. WTH? So, I dealt with it, since it was almost bed time, I just decided I would ride it out and go to bed.

Thursday (Thanksgiving) was good. I woke up feeling good, I had a bit of a cough, but it was only upon waking. I blamed it on the change of weather here. It got super cold at night and we left the window cracked. I had decided on Wednesday that I would stay home for Thanksgiving dinner because I didn't want to be tempted. My DH and the kids were gone for about 7 glorious hours!!! I caught up on TiVo, took a nap because I could, ate some more YUMMY protein shakes and checked out some Lap Band Discussion Boards. Everyone was happy!

Friday was a lazy day. DH wasn't feeling well, and neither were the kids. So everyone just wanted to sit around and be lazy. I wanted to get stuff done, Christmas decorating, cleaning, preparing for the holidays. Alas, that didn't happen. We all just hung out around the house.

Saturday we cleaned the garage. I think I over did it. We worked from 11:00 - 4:00 straightening up decorations, pulling out what we were going to put on the house, doing laundry, donating items to our local charity, etc. I mostly supervised, but I have a hard time not helping. I was sore on Saturday night and probably stayed up too late. I developed an insomnia feeling, not tired at midnight, but had been up since 0530. I finally forced myself to go to bed and had a great night's sleep!

Sunday, I woke up with a sore throat, cough and stuffiness. It appears the cold has made it's way to my system. I don't like to be sick. I usually get really sick, especially since I can't take my supplements. So, I rested all day yesterday. DH finished the garage, prepared all of our Christmas decorations (he's waiting for me to feel better so we can put them up as a family like every year), then we went to dinner with my parents. This is the first time I have been out to dinner and out of the house since surgery. I was able to order a broth based soup (broth only) and could only get about 1/4 of it down. That was interesting. I've noticed that some days I can get my protein in, some days not so much.

Today is one week post op and I am down 20 pounds since I started the pre-op diet. The highlight of this week (aside from the weight loss) is that I was able to get my wedding rings on for the first time in 5 years. I was elated. I decided to try them on last night before we left for dinner just to see where I was at as far as the weight loss. I didn't take measurements, I haven't changed clothing sizes yet, I can't see the difference in my body, just see numbers on a scale which doesn't mean a lot. I couldn't wear them for a long period of time because my fingers are still a bit pudgy. When I slipped the rings on, I felt the rush of excitement I haven't felt since my wedding day. I can't believe it's only been a week since surgery, that I feel this great (other than the icky cold) and I have lost what I have.

I don't know why I waited so long to have this surgery, but I am not looking back. I will not regret the time wasted, I choose to focus on my future and the exciting adventures that await me! I'm lucky to have such a great support system. I couldn't have done any of this without them and for that I am forever thankful. I have made the decision that I am not going to tell anyone that I had the surgery. The only people that know are my DH (obviously), my mom, and my boss (because I needed the time off). That's it. I don't want to live up to anyone elses expectations or limitations. I don't want anyone saying "you shouldn't eat that" or "didn't you have bariatric surgery, what do you mean you only lost xx pounds" or "well, you only lost the weight because you had surgery. It's not like you did anything" or any of the other negative comments that come out of people's mouths.

Here is to the skinny life ahead! I'm excited to be a loser