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Woah!!

GonnaBeFit

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Wow ... I'm completely lost! I knew there was some trouble with the site around the 20th because it seemed like no one was posting. Then I wasnt getting any e-mails saying anyone submitted a blog (at least the ones that I'm subscribed to). This is definitely going to take getting used to. A lot has happened recently since my last post ... besides the reformat of the site, all of these things contribute to the "WOAH" title of this blog. To begin with, my first fill went really well .. it was VERY conservative, only 1 ml and I felt nothing at all. She didnt want to do a lot since it was the week before Thanksgiving (I hope everyone had a great one by the way). I still feel no restriction though and cant wait for my second one, but I'm assuming it will still be just 1 ml since it will be right before Christmas. I really want to feel restriction though ... I feel like I dont even have the band and I feel that if I dont feel like I have it, how is it working for me? I'm stuck at 210 and not moving ... I'm supposed to be moving ... thats the whole point in getting this 30,000+ dollar surgery that put me out of commission for 2+ weeks to include complications and a trip to the ER ... when am I going to see more benefits of it? when am I going to fall in love my band? (Wow he really needs a name lol)

 

Number two Woah ... it was my 31 st birthday on the 23rd. I thought it was going to suck. Seriously ... my husband decided to go to see his family for thanksgiving without me and our daughter. Granted he wants nothing to do with me right now and I was told last week that he would be filing for divorce when he came back, praying he doesnt though! Anyways, I had no hopes for a nice birthday at all. but to my amazement it was one of the best birthdays i've ever had that i can remember! a friend took me out to lunch and then to get our nails done. again to my amazement she paid for me to get a full set of gel nails .. how freakin nice was that?! her daughter watched my daughter and when we got back to her house my daughter brought me a beaded bracelet she made me and a handmade, hand written by my 4 year old birthday card. it said happy birthday mommy i love you and she drew and colored a heart! my own heart just about melted! that was the first gift and card she has ever made me!! my mommy meter went through the roof!! well my daughter decided that i needed a cake because well .. it was my birthday. how could she sing happy birthday to me if there was no cake :) so we went to walmart and she picked out a cake (a single slice cake) and we shared it after we ate dominos pizza ( thin sliced and i ate chicken wings). after that we cuddled on the couch and watched movies... it was the most perfect day which i could not have imagined going that well at all ... OH and i've been searching for jobs like crazy and walmart and mcd's didnt even call for an interview but a college called for a secretarial position on my birthday! I was like YAY!!! such a great day!

 

Unfortunately that great day was followed by thanksgiving ... it was really hard for me because i had no family to spend it with, no great close friends to spend it with. i felt all alone and like no one cared for me at all ... i dont feel like my husbands family cares for me .. i know they love me but it just doesnt seem like they do. it was really hard thinking that he was with his familyl having the grandest time and i was stuck at home with no one. like i was the one being punished for standing for my marriage. i know that just lies and i cant believe them ... but it was just really hard. well i went to two dinners that night ... ate very slow and mostly protein and veggies and the dinners were a few hours apart. the first dinner was .. eh, i didnt really know alot of people and i was just totally bumming from earlier in the day. the second dinner was with a friend and her family who moved a way 4 years ago and just recently moved back and we hadnt been able to connect until last night. it was really great to see her and talk to her again. we used to meet up for lunches all the time when she worked at the local hospital as a social worker in the behavioral health dept. i was really wanting to talk to her about everything going on with my hubs and get her intake on it. anyways, we talked and my daughter got to play with her daughter, and we just had a nice evening. thank God my second dinner was better than the first, and i went home in a much better mood i went there in. its just really nice to reconnect with people. i hope we can keep close. tomorrow we are going to a boat parade on the river together which should be fun.

 

sorry this is so long, i really need to keep up with blogging. i am having some problems with the whole no restriction and feeling like i dont have the band. i'm trying to limit my portions, trying to eat better but some things just seem to make it past my lips and then i regret it later. if i could do this without the band i wouldnt have gotten it ... so why am doing it with the band but feel nothing?? is this what they call banders hell?? I never really knew what that referred to .. but if this is it ... then i'm in it!



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I feel the same way. I spent a lot of money on this and the only thing that has happened was that I gained 5 lbs! Yep, I gained! I was filled on wednesday and he put 3cc's in and still I am able to eat whatever I want. I have asked others what is going on and if they could advise but, your right, no one seems to be commening any more. I am frustrated beyond belief. I have been told to eat fewer cals and lower carbs....well....I didnt pay all this darn money to put myself on a diet. I was assuming I went through all of this to have the band help me with that part. Right????

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You would think so Kelly LOL ... I mean I know its a tool to help but I just dont feel like it helps right now. The PA said to eat smaller bites and eat slower ... well its really hard to eat smaller bites when you dont *have* to. If I felt restriction then yes, I would be eating smaller bites ... If I could do it on my own then I would have. This was my last option and I feel like its failing me so far ... I'm really hoping that as time goes on it will be better ... I need a bit more of the aggressive fills and not the conservative right now.

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Im so glad you posted because until now I have not talked to anyone else who has gone through what I am going through. My doc did give me an aggressive fill with 4 cc's at first... but I couldnt get the water down so he took 1 out. I thought that would be perfect. I stayed on liquids until that evening when I was able to eat whatever I wanted again. What size are you? Have you lost any weight yet? Do you exercize? Do you eat carbs?

Im so tired of people telling me that this is a lifestyle change and I need to change the way I eat. Well, no crap! I know that. I thought the band would HELP me! I dont think people understand how frustrating this is because most of them are losing weight as they should be and feeling restriction.

Im glad I found you!

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I am a size 18 .. I am 5 ft though so its ginormous ... I have lost weight. I started my pre-op diet at 228. When I went into surgery I was 219. On my post op diet I got down to 199 (for a day). I was really sick because of all the gas and my body wasnt reacting well to it at all. But when I was able to finally eat, thats when I started gaining weight. I got back up to 210 but today I am at 206.6. When I talked with my PA it was all because I was taking too big of bites. Supposedly LOL. I have PCOS, a condition that affects your hormones and makes it very hard to lose weight. Before surgery I was eating a clean diet and working out but nothing helped and I just stayed where I was weight wise. It is frustrating for sure ... I know it will take time but I'm just ready for some progress. This takes me back to all my feelings I had before surgery when I would do everything I could and nothing helped and I lost all determination because I felt like "Whats the point?" ... I just pray for some changes SOON.

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Gonnabefit you are going through so much in your personal life. Please just remember to take time to focus on you. Also, the best revenge on a soon to be ex is to look even better than when you met (lol). Just a little motivation....(smile) Seriously though....the lapband by itself is not the lone answer. I have found that I do need to make the right choices. I write in a journal to stay focused on my journey. I am an emotional eater and I have had to learn to deal with those issues in ways other than food. That is VERY challenging. However, I am just so sick of feeling "sick and tired" all of the time. I am committed to doing what I need to do. It is very easy to eat more than you should when you do not feel a full restriction. I would call the doctor and see if you can get your second fill date moved up and ask her to be more aggressive with it. Be you own advocate. Why wait? After a tragic situation with that cost my mother her life...I have learned to speak up and speak out about what I expect and need from my doctors. That is just part of taking care of me. I am wishing you much success and onward and upward to a better life for you and your daughter! Look at it as the beginning of a new journey on many new fronts in your life!

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I haven't posted much for a while. I feel like I am alone and why bother. I've read some of your problems and I wonder if this was a good choice. I hate liquid medicine and if I get a headache that is all I can take. I get so sick in my stomach from it. I am depressed I guess. No one in my family understands how I feel and I am not too sure they really care. If I have pain and am grouchy, my husband says mean things, when all I need is a kind word or a hug. It is kind of like, "Ok, you should be better and I am not going to waste my time on you anymore because I say you should be better, and this is cramping my style and I no longer want to deal with it?" Right now I am getting sick. I have a sore throat which hurts so bad and I am still sore. I also have trouble with this site. I must be stupid because I can't find my blogs. It seems as though they changed the site since I was on last and now I can't find anything. I used to be able to go to "MY BLOG" but I can't find it at the top anymore.

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Dadkins .. thank you!! And your right, I need to continue to put myself first and cut myself some slack I think. This whole thing is such a process!

Knoebel .. I think you need to start blogging. Its such a comfort to have people HERE that know what you are going through when no one in your personal life does. That really stinks about your husband but what does he know about what you are going through? When I get "depressed" about how I am handling things, my diet or exercise for example, I tend to withdraw and not come on here because its like I want to wallow in my own self pity. And if I come here people would uplift me and encourage me and point me in the right direction. I think right now we both need that! This morning as I was talking to myself in my head (LOL) I decided that I needed to come on here more. To blog more about what is going on in my life and how what I do is affecting my eating. I need the accountability that this board provides that no one else in my life does. Oh and I agree with the new set up .. it looks real pretty but its hard to get the hang of it. Have you figured out how to get to your blog yet? If not I can help you find it :)

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I am so sorry you are going through so much stress in your life right now. I wish you could have this time to focus completely on you and your weight loss journey. The end of a marriage is such a difficult time and if you are anything like me when you feel stressed or sad, that is when you want to eat. What am I saying? Also, when I feel happy, or angry, I want to eat. On a positive note, I can tell you have the sweetest daughter ever and you are losing weight (even though it might not be as easy or as fast as you would like). Keep up the good work and I wish you the best on your journey.

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