Well, it's a good day. I had my first couple of tests today, quite painless. Which is what I like. I say, 'No pain? Hey, no pain!!!! *smile*' Okay, I know it's stupid, but I like stupid humor. Anyway, just to let you all know, I'm keeping this a pretty big secret. Even when I get the surgery done, I'm not telling hardly anyone. I have a very few friends who I have told, but not many. So count yourselves lucky! Every time they know I'm on a diet, they start telling me how good I look cuz of the weight I've lost. most of the time, I have gained weight, or stayed the same. It just shows that they really don't know, or care enough to know.

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I have this really close friend, adn we do lots and lots of things together. She is probably my closest friend right now. Yes, just friend, I know what you were thinking. Well anyway, I told her about me doing this surgery thing, and she supports me totally. However, after I originally told her, I haven't brought it up again, except to say that I was going to my first dr's appointment. Well, I'm still waiting on her to ask how that went. It's like she just doesn't care about what's going on inside of me. Just another one of my 'friends' who could care less if I'm okay, or not. Well, I'm tired of chasing after my friends, and continually trying to bring them into my life. If they want to know anything, they need to go out of their way and ask me! At least a simple, "How are you doing?" or "Are you okay?" or how about, "How did your dr's appointment go? Oh, and I haven't even mentioned all those people at church who just love to talk about me, and put me down in anything I do in my personal life. And some of them are supposedly my good friends. One of them asked me to go out to eat with them the other night. What a hypocrit!!!!!

Okay, enough complaining, I'm actually in a good mood. I just love complaining. Keep reading, and I'm sure you will hear lots, probably even things you don't want to know!

Cheers!!!

Hey there

I feel the same way you feel about the friendship thing I decided to give up on having a true friendship with more than 1 person. I think you have to spread yourself to thin when you have more then 1 close close person to you. One thing I learned from being burned by so-called friends dont say anything out loud that you dont want repeated. in others just keep it to yourself tell your journal tell your teddy bear or tell your pillow. I guess I've been hurt too many times by the same group of folk. But you hang in there and fell free to email me anytime.

Stay focused on what you need to do