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Am I being bad? Or am I being normal?

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LoseIt!

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Weightloss has been a lifelong struggle for me as it has most likely been for most of you. In order to lose weight, I had to sacrifice and deprive myself of so much in order to be successful at it.

 

It has been a challenge this year to completely change my perspective. Although weightloss is my primary goal, I want to enjoy my life as I live it. However, this week, my body seems to be rewarding itself for bad behavior.

 

I had a fill last week and after a 1/2 pound gain the week before, I lost that plus and additional 4 pounds! I felt strongly that a lot of that was water weight and dehydration that would be put back on. But I got to this week and I'm still losing.

 

Monday, I didn't work out at all. I had a work lunch and a work dinner, both at delicious restaurants with richly prepared food. On Tuesday, I ran a couple miles at lunch, but I had a decadent dinner. Both nights I also had a drink before dinner and coffee with cream after dinner. Yesterday, I had TWO Otis Spunkmyer (aka HIGH CALORIE) cookies at lunch and finished off the leftovers from Monday night. I did work out, but I finished the night with BOTH ice cream AND two pieces of dark chocolate. All of that and I'm still down over a half pound since Sunday.

 

Today we are having our Thanksgiving pitch in at work. There will be casseroles and carbs galore! I plan to enjoy it. :smile: I know I tend to be conservative when I log calories. I will put down the calories for the entire serving even if I didn't eat all of it. Or I will put down calories for 1/2 if I eat more like 1/3. I figure there are always hidden calories I miss, so I want to be conservative. However, I wonder if I am being more conservative than I realize. Am I getting so used to eating smaller portions that I don't need to "pad" the numbers so much?

 

I know that my mom is constantly making comments about me "eating all that food". I think I talk about what I eat as if I ate it all and maybe I even have that in my head, but in reality I didn't. I told her this morning that I had a bagel for breakfast yesterday, but I actually had half a bagel and I don't think I even ate the last 2-3 bites. There is a big difference there.

 

I guess it comes down to my concern that suddenly I will wake up tomorrow up 4.5 pounds higher which would make me sad. My scale is telling me to keep doing what I'm doing, but my head is yelling at me that I'm not sacrificing enough to be this successful and it will all come crashing down.

 

I will enjoy our pitch in lunch today, but then I will also work myself out like crazy at Jazzercise. Maybe that isn't bad/nuts/indulgent...maybe it is just normal. I guess only time will tell!!

 

Beth

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Beth, you're better than normal! *Me=Scale Whore* think you need to write a thank you note to your scale to be opened on a week when you're doing everything perfectly and the scale doesn't budge an inch or moves up...I'm convinced all our Scales have PMS all the time...they're moody things. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy life! Those minor leftovers on your plate add up and make a bigger difference the closer you get to goal...maybe that fill is helping more than you think?

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This is SO funny. I subscribe to your posts....so they automatically get sent to my Blackberry. I have been working at a trade show this week in San Diego....which means distributor dinners....which means the same thing as you are experiencing: rich dinners, wine, wine, and more wine (or in this case, since we are in San Diego...margaritas! :( hahaha..., coffees from Starbucks, and desserts. All of this is pretty much how I don't eat when I am at home. After the first couple of days, I was freaking myself out b/c I don't have a scale to "gauge" how I am doing. In my head, I felt like I MUST have put on weight....b/c I haven't been able to do my standard exercising (although we do walk a bit...and stand for 8 hours a day)...and I just always feel full b/c we have been eating at regular intervals. Sometimes at home, I'll go longer periods of time without eating b/c my day is SO jammed packed without scheduled feeding times...

Anyhow, I purchased some dress pants before I left and they were a tad snug. I never ended up wearing them b/c I found something else to wear....but yesterday, I was so nervous b/c I was sure that I gained SOO much weight that I wouldn't be able to button them. Lo and behold, they actually felt like they fit a little better. We'll see what the scale says when I get home on Sunday.....but it is SO true. I am also a scale whore. I immediately worry about gaining weight when I don't see the physical proof in front of my eyes. It is awful...but like you, Beth, I have also seen changes. I can't eat all of my food...on three occasions this week (by four different people that we took out for dinner), I had them ask me if I liked the food. I told them that it was great but I was full. No one but my boss, my co-worker, and my boyfriend know about my LapBand...and honestly, has worked out just fine. No one questioned me after that....and things were good! :)

Anyhow, great job with your weight loss. I really enjoy reading your blogs! :)

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Beth, I'm with my fellow bandsters above -- your posts are always motivating, inspiring and a joy to read. I think we are all "normal" in our own way and take whatever steps necessary to make the program work well for us. We go to this site regularly for help and support, and learn how to feel good about where we are on any given day, any given weight or whatever that evil/good scale says. Enjoy your pot luck today and especially the holiday!

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I think you hit it with your first comment that weight loss is A goal, but living life is important too. This is for life, not just for the duration of "the diet" . . don't we all know that game? You're doing great - keep it up! And thanks for posting.

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