It has been tough, in a way I didn't expect. I never really cared much about food, I just didn't. I always ate because I had to. Sometimes I wouldn't have breakfast until noon, and dinner at 6 and a snack at 10pm. Since being told I can't eat, I find I am watching the clock more to be sure I get the proper supplements in. It is crazy, I am such a free spirit, being a clock watcher makes me nuts, and I get hungry fairly quickly but that is what happens when you are on liquids still.

So here is how I used to eat, I used to just pick. I would make my daughter a sandwich and wait for her to finish what she was going to eat and then eat the rest. That way I am not wasting food and having a smaller portion. I also tend to pick. So today while making my daughter her lunch I gave her chips and with out thinking popped a small piece in my mouth and chewed. NO NO NO I said, not good for you. I also made her green beans and masticated the crud out of them and swallowed. Then tonight, my MIL, she is so sweet, gave me some home made chicken soup. So I took the chicken and carrots, I purreed them into a liquid form, added them back to the stock and then heated it up. Best liquid protein I have had all week.

It is hard to cook for everyone else and not be able to partake in the meal. I have stuff for alfredo so I will make a chicken alfredo for the family on Wednesday. I can't do it tomorrow, tomorrow is my sons 10th Birthday and I am taking him out to Bertuccis. I of course will be drinking water with lemon and lime while he eats Pizza. I told my husband I want to order a meal for when I can eat.

I am still feeling gassy and took my daughter out today and was in so much pain I actually got the sweats. I think it was from all the bending in and out of the car. She is slightly over the limit I am supposed to lift. So I do the lift with the legs and there is very littel strain, most of the strain is bending in the car to buckle her and unbuckle her.

That being said, I feel pretty good, my hubby is going to get me sugar free ice cream. Is that on the list? I can't find my list. LOL I will have to look it all back up. Let's pretend it is on the list.... Also, off to the gym tomorrow to drop off the application and $20.00 and I can start going, as soon as I get better control of my bowels. Those are still off and sometimes to nearly disasterous results.

I looked in the mirror today and said, "I love you enough to realize you want to loose weight to be healthy. I know you well enough to know that part of you thinks it would be cook to be skinny. I have heard you say so many times that you will not back down from a challange and you never have, so put on those boxing gloves and tell those old habits of picking to take a hike." Yah didn't neccessarily work today but there is tomorrow.

I need to meditate and concentrate on my Reiki principles and refocus my energy. Speeking of Reiki, I did it on my son today, (it is an energy work for those that don't know. Yes I am a holistic, new age, hippy girl) and he was so happy. He said, "I don't know how when you place your hands on my head I hear humming energy." He is such a sweet boy.

Speaking of boy, OH BOY am I rambling. Off to bed, tomorrow, school work, school work, and the day of Brandon.