One Week
Oh, my goodness, this is hard. I had my surgery on October 29th, and it has been slow-going ever since. Not slow in the fact that I have been losing weight, just slow in the fact that it's taking me a long time t recover. I don't know why I didn't expect this to be hard and painful. It is major surgery, after all. It's November 4th now, and I'm finally starting to get around and moving, but I get tired so easily and get nauseous pretty fast. My doctor put me on Phenergan for nausea, but that just knocks me out and takes away whatever little bit of energy I had! The pain is finally subsiding and it's mostly just a nagging pinch now, but my back muscles ache something terrible. Initially, I did not want to eat anything. Now, my waves of hunger are so strong, I can't tell if I'm hungry or nauseous or both. I'm still on a liquid diet for 2 more days. So far, all I have eaten since my surgery is a cup of soup, a popsicle, a small frosty from Wendy's, and a small side of mashed potatoes from KFC (I cheated, but I was so hungry!). I think about what I am going to eat when my stomach goes back to normal. I can't seem to stop thinking about food. I hope once I can eat some more normal foods, and am not so hungry, my focus will be elsewhere and not on tempting things I should not be eating. I have lost 22 lbs since October 16th. That's 19 days. I feel good about this and want the weight loss to continue. I figure if I can lose 2 lbs a week until next year, I will be down 100 lbs. Even if I only lose 1 lb a week, I'll be 50 lbs lighter than right now. But there are so many foods out there that look delicious that I can no longer have! What I really crave is Chino Bandidos, my favorite restaurant. I figure once, before my band fill, I will go there. Just once. I know this may be a recipe for disaster, but it is what I have been craving. I willnot eat a whole plate of food. Just half, maybe not even that. If I plan it, and work my dieting and exercise around it, I think I could splurge just once. We'll see...I know it's not the best decision, but if I don't give in once in a great while, I feel I may be setting myself up for failure. I may just reach a point where I eat everything I want whenever I want and will lose all self control. That's exactly what I don't want to happen. Oh well....this is also coming from someone who has not eaten a real meal in a week's time and is food crazy. I can see the weight coming off in my face and in my arms. So far, so good. I want to be at 230 lbs by Christmas. I am at 253 right now. I have seven weeks, so that seems about right. All I know is that the airplane seats better feel more roomy this time when I go home. Last time, I could barely get them to buckle. I was so embarrassed. I don't ever want that to happen again. Anyways, that's all I have for now. Have a great night, everyone!
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