At the end of last week I learned that I would have to do the six month program with my primary doctor. This completely bummed me out. Here I thought I would be able to have this surgery done in January but nope. Then I started thinking. This really isn't so bad. It gives me two extra months to get everything together. I've bought books recently that I would highly reccommend to anyone who is head strong about this surgery:

1. Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band by Robert W. Sewell and Linda Rohrbough

2. LAP-BAND® Companion by Mark J. Watson

I've learned recently that it's better to have some kind of weight loss surgery but only if it's thought thoroughly. I thought I was the only one for years that was the last kid to be picked in gym class or someone who wouldn't go to amusement parks anymore because I get too tired or that I can't fit on a ride. I'm not alone in this. I close my eyes and I try to picture the new me. It's as if it's right there and I'm gaining momentum on the image. With just the thought of it done, I'm happier than I have been in years. I'm ready for a lifestyle change and I want it forever. It doesn't matter what I have to give up, I'm willing to do what's neccessary for my life. Food just makes me depressed beyond measure. I want to live my life and be happy while doing it instead of living in a comatose state. I dream about the change and what I'll wear in the next few years. I've never been one to go shopping for clothes because I was too embarrassed but now I'm jullivant for these next few years. I'm not wanting the "quick fix," I'm in this for life.