This is my first blog entry, despite having been banded for about 18 months now. I had imagined that 18 months after surgery, I would be as skinny as I ever wanted to be and would be enjoying everything I imagined that life contained. I'd be happy, I'd have found someone to share my life with. I might even be pregnant. Well, unfortunately, none of that has happened. But this isn't going to be a "Debbie Downer" post, it's actually a hopeful one!

The thing no one tells you, or more accurately, that everyone tells you but you either can't or won't hear it, is that a band alone will not make you thin. It won't solve the reasons you got so big in the first place and it won't get you to exercise. What it can do is change the amount of food you eat. That change helped me lose about 65 lbs. Some people might think that 65 lbs in 18 months isn't much (I'm sort of one of the people) but knowing that instead of being over 300 lbs now (where I was surely headed), I've not only maintained more than 50lbs off for a year and recently lost another 10, means that I have accomplished something I thought was impossible pre-band. So, despite a few minor issues, I'm THRILLED to have been banded and am now coming to the realization that the band has taken me as far as it can on it's own. Now I have to take it the rest of the way.

The good news is that the past month or so has led me to believe that I can. Simply put, I got back on a heathier eating track. Instead of eating anything I want, just in smaller portions and drinking whatever I want, I've gotten to a point where I am eating like someone who wants to keep losing weight. That's not to say I am where I need to be...in fact, I have spent the better part of this weekend figuring out why the first 7 lbs lost since I recommitted to weight loss fell off and the last 3 have been a battle. But I think I have figured that out and am now ready to march forward towards that weight loss goal again. It's going to be a hard journey, I'm not fooling myself about that...and I will struggle every day and fall, probably alot. But I am looking forward to getting back on the horse and keep at it until I get to where I want to be. Hopefully, in another 18 months, I'll be there, but if not, I at least hope to still be trying. This is a journey, not a race and I'm ready to take another fork in the road.