I wanted to begin putting my thoughts on e-paper as it helps me process,create and decide on what else but life.

What's been going on with me these days?

Well--life has been busy! To date I have lost a total of 73-ish pounds I think? It feels good, don't get me wrong, but I am really hard on myself. I still see the gut and the big arms. I see the flaws. Friends, co-workers and family have been very praising of my achievements, but for some reason, it's not enough. I'm learning to try to find at least one thing about me that I like when I see myself in the mirror each day. So--I smile. When I smile I see my dimples and it makes me smile more :-)

My workouts have been blah. This time last year I was on point, always at the gym, always putting in 110%. Now with my busy schedule, I simply try to survive. I used to work out 6 days a week. Got my motivation from another lap bander on this site. She lost a ton of weight and maintained it. She was driven. I had to be like that. My decline in motivation occurred when I lost my ipod. I couldn't work out without music, could I? Didn't even bother trying. 6 days went to 4, then 3. I started finding excuses. My body no longer feels strong.

On a good note, I got hired AT MY GYM to be a dance fitness instructor! Yes, ME!! They asked me, which is hilarious. I started in July and it's been great. I teach Bollywood Fitness it definitely covers cardio for the week. I teach one-hour long classes twice a week, then go to Bellydance school once a week. So I guess I shouldn't say that I'm a complete couch potato, but I can do better. I know it.

My eating has been not so great too. I eat what I can, when I can. That is--if it goes down. I think I have about 8.5 cc in a 10 cc band, so I am tight. It is helping me lose weight, and the doc wants to take some out when I'm at goal weight. I need to start cooking at home again and not eating out so much. Other tips I need to re-introduce is food logging, portion control, cutting sugar out and getting sleep. I've got the tools, just need to implement...