When I'd finally reached the end of my rope with my weight last fall and began the process of considering and applying for WLS one of the things my surgical practice required was an "essay" on why I wanted WLS. I posted that essay at the beginning of my blog. One thing I commented about myself somewhat laughingly was that I am a "bulimic who doesn't vomit", thinking that I was a rare bird or that I didn't really have a problem.

Recently, my NUT recommended, OVERCOMING Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn. What an eye-opener!

I'm not uncommon and I'm not alone. Sadly, I never felt comfortable telling my doctors about my secret problem. I'm a classic Type-A; organized, perfectionist, Miss-do-it-all, not willing to admit weakness. In fact these are traits often possessed by a bulimic/binge eater. Handling stress, disappointments and sadness but stuffing it down - metaphorically and physically. I now know that if I'd had the courage to reveal my weakness, maybe I could've gotten help before I got to the point of considering WLS. I find it some what distressing, that no doctor - including my surgeon, and their affliated dietitian, and psychologist - ever picked up on it - even when it was there in writing and there was no evidence that anyone had ever addressed this problem with me.

So here I am - most of the weight I've lost since banding in March has been pre-surgical. I'm not gaining - I'm stuck at 238.

I'm still binging but for the obvious reason, I can't consume as much. I'm still not getting straight answers from my surgical practice and no one there has bothered to bring up the obvious - Jill...why aren't you losing weight?

So I'm starting to work through this problem on my own - the above book has a Part II; a self-help workbook - and still looking for the right therapist.

There is no way that anyone who says WLS was the easy way out has a clue as to what I'm (and I'm sure a number of fellow bandsters) are dealing with - it's not just the surgery, it's everything else that's coming out as a result. Pray for me as I will for you.