Fat Girl Moment
Okay . . . why why why did my doctor have to tell me I wasn't restricted. It's true and it is a LIE!!! So, my dumb, fluffy arse had a long day at work - 12 hours plus!
I got a new case that ranks in my top ten of most awful crimes ever. Just when I think I have seen it all or think maybe I have become jaded to what we can do to one another as human beings I get shocked! And even after 22 years in the business, I am stunned by this one! And to top it off, our jury came back not guilty on an assault on an at risk person so, I'm sure you are getting the picture - not a good day!
I decide I'm going to cook this yummy vegetarian dish. Moroccan Spiced Sweet Potato Medley. It's healthy. It's spicy. It's yummy. Only, I didn't have any cilantro or raisins. I stop at the store. Fresh hot bread. The smell was enough to make me think about committing a crime of my own. Bread is my weakness! Hot bread - well I could kill for it!!
I know you all see the writing on the fat girl wall. Yes, I bought it. It was for the boys not me! The lies we tell ourselves! I get home cut a piece after all the doctor said I wasn't restricted. What could one piece hurt? And my dumb arse ate it. Then I ate a second one. I felt fine for a minute and then it came . . . chest crushing pain and a feeling of something being stuck in the center of my chest. Or maybe it was the feeling of an elephant sitting dead smack in the middle of my chest. Whatever it was - it wasn't good! You can only guess I experienced my first episode of PBing! DISGUSTING. Now, I know what other bandsters are talking about! OH SO GROSS! And as I told my daughter and now my grand-daughter - pretty women don't do that! Laughing out loud - nothing pretty about a fat girl moment!
So, no Moroccan Spiced Sweet Potato Medley for me. Not even one damn bite - I'm too afraid! First fill - hurry up!
I've lost 27 pounds (in 3.5 weeks) and been stuck there for 5 days - I am sure my punishment for fat girl moment will be two fold. PBing and a movement in the wrong direction on the scale tomorrow morning. GRRRR!!!
Lessons I'm learning . . . 1. Old habits are hard to break. 2. Stay away from grocery stores after work when the hot bread now is like a smellorama from hell! 3. Pay attention to emotions and why I eat!
Better luck next time!
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