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I'm writing it down

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Rosie Sue

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The truth. I want to lose weight so I can get a better paying job so I can leave my husband. I married a mentally abusive alcoholic 15 years ago, and that has led me down a river of self abuse/denial. I've filled the holes in my life with food & pets. Food loves me, pets love me, and I love them back. Don't ask me how it all hapened. It just did. He drove away my friends, then my family, then my own self respect. But bit by bit I'm clawing my way out of the hole I've been in. When I got my band I started to see light. (he never even asked me why I was in the hospital. duh, love) It's hard, but I know i'm not alone feeling this way. I don't want to be thin so i can get another man. No way. I've been burned enough. I just want to have people look at me, not look at my fat or my ill fitting clothes. I can giggle and joke about the chips I had, or the donut i had, but it's sad. There's nothing funny about being fat.

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You are so right and I think many of us on this site share your pain. I'm so sorry for your situation, I know it's hard. Be strong for yourself. Work your plan with the band and be good to yourself. I don't envy you some tough decisions it sounds like you have in your future, but you will make it. **Hugs** and prayers.

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Prayers from me as well. You sound like you are a very strong woman, and a very determined one. I am glad that you are doing this for yourself! Stay strong and please keep up posted!!!

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Thanks guys. Yes I used to be strong, but with the help of my lapband, i feel i'll come out of this a new stronger person with more confidence than before.

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