OK, you SWA members and new initiates (keep those blindfolds down and stop giggling or I'm getting out the measuring tapes) and yes, Gigolo's...remember the 'G' is just silent in SwGA...like all men should be...silent...at least when I'm talking...shhh...(Andrew) that means you...you remind me of DH...or is that our gigglers making all that noise LOL!...I've decided that our next biannual August 'meeting' needs to be a little more interactive (or maybe it's just that I'm busy and I need some serious help...thanks for the wine Darlin'1). If you're a Scale Whore, then you're probably also someone that finds great gratification in awards, followers, and bling (not to mention that you're all comment whores too)...so you're just an all-around-whore (just ask the Mama Pimp)...and that's what I'm offering you...

...awards, followers, bling, and comments...disguised the way 9 out of 10 WL experts agree works best...

...NO! NOT a (cover your ears) D-I-E-T (have you learned NOTHING here LOL?)...

...A CHALLENGE!!!! Yes, all you little competitive Scale Whores get to join another challenge!!! Oh what fun!!! And this one will only cost you a little time (and dignity). Whores, feel free to grab your 'Challenge Logo' below:

...and for our Gigolos:

Get your coupons clipped and sign up now for your rebates! Here's how it works/the rules; we Bander's (see #1) love rules, so I'll make this long and complicated...actually it's super easy, I'm just making it LOOK long and complicated so this looks more official than it is:

1. No (Draz), you do NOT have to be a Bander to enter...just a Scale Whore (Gigolo...Sam).

2. No (Kathy), you do NOT have to be a Blogger to enter (read *).

Complete at least ONE (but no more than 10,000,000) posts.

* Non-Bloggers (this is kinda like my Dad talks about DH being a 'non-Catholic'...he thinks it's hilarious LOL):

No worries if you don't have a blog...'cause you'll WANT the bling, even if you don't care two hoots (hoot, hoot) about followers or WL awards (although since you can't post the award on your non-blog you could always print it out and pin it to your shirt...who doesn't want to wear a 'SWA' award around pinned to their shirt every day, like me...I'm just sayin'. OK, you non-Bloggers...I'm loaning out my blog for your posts...you get to be a 'guest blogger' for the day (even anonymously...but then, I might take credit...if it's creative/funny!). Just send it to me on e-mail (on my sidebar here: THE SWEET SPOT) and I'll post it.

3. The title of the post MUST include (in some shape or form) our group name or acronym...that's "SWA", or "SwGA" for you silent but deadly ones (geez, men and farting...do they ever stop laughing at farts?).

4. To be officially entered, send me a link to each of your posts (email- sidebar, here: THE SWEET SPOT, or leave it under comments for the current post) and I will add it to the SWA page; look at the top of my Home page and click on the 'SWA' page (that makes you an official-blog post carrying-member of SWA). Others can link to your post there and you'll get new followers or un-followers depending on your level of creativity. See, you're an instant celebrity AND you get instant gratification...kinda like Paris Hilton (sex tape...no, I haven't seen it, I'm just guessing about the gratification part). So there's some new followers for you (hopefully). I'll try to post the links periodically on my blog as well.

5. Posts must be posted and the link sent to me starting tomorrow and by August 31st, at 12pm...or whatever time it is in your country or 'Land of Oz' (Cara)...does that mean I have to stay up all night to watch you (Sally)?...yes, THIS year, you twits...or is that Twitterers?

6. On or about Sept. 1, 2010 I will link to each of the posts and tally up the number of comments that have been left under each of the officially entered posts for the top prizes. Translation; comments will equal votes....yes, I can see your wheels turning in evil ways...so pay attention...

-NO, you don't get to combine your number of comments from all 10,000,000 of your SWA posts...I'll be looking for your SWA post with the highest number of comments...so if 'funny' didn't work for you in getting comments...try an 'informational' how-to post...ie. 'how weighing myself hourly and making a spreadsheet helps me lose weight' (maybe you'll get lots of sympathy comments).

-NO (Jen), each person is only allowed ONE comment under each post (so no 'friend' can help you, but having friend(s) plural (Amy) is an advantage as they can each comment once).

-NO, you may NOT comment under your own post...anonymous comments will NOT count toward the total unless both a name and a Blogger address (or an email address is given)...I know you young gals still have your 'Baby Name Books', so an anonymous comments with a just a name (Elvira & Ezekial) will NOT count.

7. Three (there have to be at least three crazies out there, right?) top prizes/homemade craft projects that I will be creating with my own two hands...side note (ie. another long off-track ramble) have you seen the site 'Homemade Hilarity' yet? As an ex-art teacher it's right up there with http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

(I must have a dark side that secretly likes to laugh at others...that is until I see myself on one of these sites)...these are all homemade crafts that people make to SELL...not to be funny...seriously...check it out...unless you're in the side-business on Etsy of selling crocheted wine cozies that look like Sponge-Bob that you created after drinking a few (sorry Sandy...is that you girl?); http://homemadehilarity.blogspot.com/

...OK, I'm back....where was I?...Three top prizes will be awarded...and the (homemade) prizes will have lots of bling (who doesn't like to be bedazzled?). If need be (and if I have my act together again before Sept....not likely) I will be showing you the lovely prizes so that you will be oh-so-motivated to participate...or maybe you'll want to retract your entry once you see my crafpt projects...so maybe 'no' to the pre-show...hey, was that iambic pentameter?

8. Challenge Theme: For this very first inaugural 'SWA Challenge' ('cause you know the demand is going to be high for many, many, more...maybe for each bi-annual meeting?), let's keep the first theme loose...and because I'm feeling a little 'Martha' talking about crafpt projects and all...Tell us somehow in your post how/why/that:

'Being A Scale Whore (Gigolo) Is A Good Thing'

...umm YES, where have you been...didn't you read our 'Creed' or the 'Qualifications for being a Scale Whore'? Get thyself to the SWA page here: Scale Whores Anonymous ~ THE SWEET SPOT and read!...we Scale Whores think weighing yourself regularly is a good thing for WL...

...NO, OK you want that other 12-step group 'How to Wean Yourself Off the Scale'...they're down the hall and to the right (and they must be missing the WL gene).

OK, now let me share a few ideas to get your fat cells jiggling (yes, we'll always have our fat cells...OK, I will)...get creative to get those comments (begging is also allowed...

- A post telling how being a Scale Whore has helped your WL (or got you sent to WL rehab)...NO (Lori), length doesn't count, only comments...yes, you can beg for them.

- Photo (yes, it can be as simple as a single photo) of you on your scale...maybe 'hearting' it (Gen); yes, I've seen all those 'piggy photos' you love to post in the other challenges (your toes on the scale)...or maybe it's a time lapse vlog of the next 100x you're on it set to music (no naked photos allowed...we have standards/don't have an 'adult content' warning).

- An 'Ode to My Scale'...done in Iambic Pentameter of course.

- Re-write the words to a song telling us about your journey with your scale helping you (I'm partial to this one...DS2 has been writing funny songs about me all day and coming to serenade me on the guitar).

- An SWA craft project (d*mn glue guns...get out the ice and aloe again will you Lena?)...no, my headband isn't quite finished to show you yet...I'm working on it, I'm working on it!

LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!!!!

One other piece of biannual meeting business:

SWA Medals/Trophies:

All SWA Members are to go and claim their official 'SWA Medals/Trophies' for WL over the past 6 months (find them and the details on the SWA page at the top of my Home page here Scale Whores Anonymous ~ THE SWEET SPOT). And just because I can, I'm making it even easier to reach your medal goals this time...you have between now and Aug. 31 to go and claim your medal, so if you're 'not quite' to the Silver medal you covet, then keep working as you have until Aug. 31...use that scale often! Let me know if you've claimed one/which one and I'll post your name/link on the SWA page.