I know what you mean. I to have got to feel better about myself. My husband tells me all the time to just get out there and dont worry what others think. He says it dont matter what others think just what I think about my self. That is not very good right now. I dont like the way I look and I know what others are probably thinking so I dont do alot of things because of that. Im working on it though as you are. You are doing so great. Keep up the great job , the rest will come in time.

Hi, You are making such great steps to creating a healthier and stronger you! I hear the power in your blog. Getting in-touch with you're feelings and having the those feelings and not using food to cope it is part of this amazing journey. I am so proud of you When I read your blog I hear your strength. This is good to keep blogging happy or sad it is real. You are amazing to have all these insights so early in your journey.

When you least expect it a handsome man will walk into your new and thinner life and support you along your journey. You are a beautiful and honest person with love and respect for family. You need to be put on a pedestal and a special person is in your future. The joy you find will only get better the longer you are on this journey.

How do I know? I have read your blogs and hear your willingness for change and your open mind and determined attitude. Just look at how beautiful you are and see the changes I have seen (heard)(read about). Let me just say when you least expect it!!!! Best wishes imaluckydog

I know how you feel. I was always "the pretty but fat one" All of my friends had many dates and I was often left to hear the stories or had a pity set up. Don't get me wrong, I did most of the damage to myself. I was always the first to put me down so I felt if I did it first, no one could hurt me. I was only about 15lbs more that my friends, but that was enough for MANY guys to think that I was pretty but FAT. You friend is right. Men would much rather be with a less pretty girl if she was skinny. I HATE THAT but i have been told be a few guys... Fast forward to today and I have an amazing husband. We met online and it was love at first site. YOU WILL FIND YOU MATE. You have to believe in yourself and be PROUD of YOU!!!

Good luck

I am in kind of the same circumstance you are. I've been married and had relationships after that, but nothing much at all in the last 6 or 7 years. I'm using this time to get healthier, inside and out. Develop some knew interests and see where it takes me.

You sound like a very put-together lady. I have absolutely no doubt that you will find someone to make your life what you want it to be.

In the interim, enjoy what you have. You seem very smart and funny and obviously healthy (!), so start to love you for you. Your achievements are amazing and you have a love for life that is envious.

Hugs!

Sandy

Couple of things...

1.) Your male friend needed to expound on his comment. Men will choose the skinny/thinner girl every time but for what? Relationship or hookup? There's a difference.

This is a conversation I have with people A LOT I actually do some radio interviews, etc.. on the topic because it's such a hot topic. When the show "More to love" was on air I did my rounds on radio shows because I personally was mortified by that show. But as I came to find out, this is the reality of most overweight women or as I've come to help alot of them realize..it's their perceived reality or the one they create for themselves.

At 33 having been plus size/full figured or well let's just say it..Fat my whole life.. I mean my entire life and having been a size 14 or bigger since age 8, yes I said 8 as in 6, 7, 8.. I don't have any other reality.

I've never had an issue dating, having a boyfriend, keeping a boyfriend or anything like that. I've been married, divorced, dated lots and even serial dated (3 dates in a day, 5 days a week).

I've often been told that's because I'm not the "normal plus size/fat girl" - i.e. low self-esteem, ill-kept, ungroomed, etc... And while that may be true the difference between me and most is CONFIDENCE. Whether it's true or not, when I walk into the room I firmly believe I am the most beautiful girl in the room and I act accordingly. While it may only be true in my head, I'll get the attention like I am because of how I carry myself.

All of the above is something that has to come from within, your outer appearance really has nothing to do with it. You ever see gorgeous men with hideous women or vice versa... CONFIDENCE.

People are just people, everyone wants to be liked, men find it highly flattering when a woman finds them attractive because most women don't express it to them. However, as women we have to allow men to come to us, and really the key here it to love yourself before anybody else can love you. I know that sound cliche but it's true.

You can sit and wonder why your life is passing you by or you can stop and just into as it's happening now. It's all on how you look at it.. half empty or half full?

Most fat women tend to throw themselves pity parties and think oh gosh they don't like me, because I'm fat or whatever.. when they bottom line is they don't like you cause you don't like you.

I know it's a lil' harsh and a lot of people probably don't want to hear it, but that's truth and sometimes it hurts.

You've done something out of love for yourself to better yourself and your life, let it flow and let people be drawn to you, the real you that's waiting to burst out... but please not she can burst out at 285 or 185.. she's still the same person. Love yourself and be good to yourself!