I am officially 6 weeks through my supervised diet with my pcp and have 6 more weeks to go! Yay! Although, I am a bit concerned as I actually gained 2 pounds the first 4 weeks. My cruise to the Bahamas was a tempting way to sabotoge my diet, apparently. My weight at last weigh in was 324. The highest I have EVER been...well, not counting my last pregnancy. Very sad, though, because I am not too far from my pregnancy weight **sniffle, sniffle**. It's amazing how different I look in my head to how different I look in pictures. Eeeeeek!

Since returning from my cruise, I have tried very hard to be mindful of the portions that I eat as well as making good food choices. I have a couple slip ups, as far as pizza with the kids, but I am otherwise doing better and eating at home a lot. I'm not quite sure what the insurance company expects out of this diet plan. I freak myself out because I am afraid they will not let me have the surgery if I don't lose any weight. The only time in my life I seem to have been successful in taking weight of, that wasn't in the 6 weeks after a baby, was while I was breastfeeding for 10 months. Otherwise, I sadly fail.

In my house, I actually have a thin husband, 3 thin sons, and a baby. What I wouldn't give for their metabolisms! A lot of times, I am fixing something for me and dinner for them.

My nutritionist appointment is set for tomorrow. My insurance company would only cover it if I had diabetes, which I don't, but I feel pretty good because the consult is only going to cost $63. The nutritionist my surgeon's office recommended was $160. So, I feel like I have a bit of a savings and I am excited to complete another step in my journey.

I will be setting my psych evaluation sometime today, too. My husband jokingly told me," A nutrition and psych evaluation...I know which one you will fail." I laughed, "Yeah, the nutrition one... "hahaha.

My husband has really been a huge wealth of support. He constantly tells me I am beautiful and he loves me just the way I am, despite being twice his size. He has encouraged me to do this for myself and not for anyone else. When I feel nervous, he calms me down. I simply can't imagine a better best friend and partner in life. I read on here, sometimes, about husband's who aren't nearly as supportive or women doing it because of the way their husbands view them. It's sad and makes me want to clutch my husband that much more. He will never fully understand my struggle with food and weight, but, damn, he sure comes as close as he possibly can for a skinny man.

Okay, BMI today is 50. Blech. Can't wait to see that number go down. I don't know how I got here...well, I do, but don't know how I allowed myself to get here. But, I know how to fix it:tongue2: