Maybe he feels threatened because you are making physical, mental and emotional changes and you are looking to people other than him for support sometimes?

Some people are very suspicious of the Internet, period. The best you can do is reassure him that you aren't doing anything but helping yourself.

Good luck, and best wishes :-).

All you can do is be honest with him at the same time be true to yourself. They warned us pre Lap that relationships could change. You are in my thoughts

He has a good point that many relationships do start out quite harmless as friends and before you know it you have a mess on your hands. Especially on line friendships. As a Pastors wife I have seen it. Please assure him that this web sight is a little different. This is for people who, much like alcholics and drug addicts, are fighting an addiction and it is so hard every day to struggle with this unless you have been here and experienced it. Our friends and families dont understand they think all we should do is just quit eating, just cut back that it should just be that simple. For us it is not. If it were, we would have done it the 100 times we have done every diet known to man. Please let him know you love him very much and need support from those that understand but let him know how much you love and appreciate the man who loved you when you were huge and smaller and inbetween. THATS a good man. I have one of those two. I am here if you need support. ONe year banded. 94 pounds lost. Best decision in my life short of salvation and marrying my man and my kids. God bless. Mechelle

let him get on this site a couple of times... he will see that we all come here to support, to vent, to get motivated.

He needs to be less insecure about the issue of you looseing the weight, he cant be making you feel guilty about this.

I met my husband almost 10 years ago on the Net. it was a big surprise to me..

I wish you the best.

You're going through changes which will definitely have an effect on him as well. Your husband has a point only if you're neglecting him or other priorities to be on here.. (Which I don't think is the case.)

There's things about this process that ONLY other people going through it as well can relate to. Can your husband give you advice on being Stuck, Band friendly recipes, Band Concerns, etc??? More than likely not. Assure him that the site is mostly women (which it is) and that he's more than welcome to come on and see what it is you're doing at any time.

While it's important to be open and honest with your spouse, it is also important for you to have a personal time/space/release to do whatever it is that you would like to do. Whether it's blogging, reading a magazine, or playing a video game. Whatever you choose to do.

There's a lot worse things that you could be doing... he should realize that.

I agree with all the above I would let him read. I keep my page open and my husband can read all he wants. He did not understand at first either. I told him I am not eating when I am on the computer. If he needs me I get off. He now has a fishing blog site that I need to ask him to get off so I can use my site. LOL It is all about the changes and in small strides we all get well. I love my band and this site. Best wishes imaluckydog

-my husband knows about this site. he is prbly glad that you guys are here for me b/c he is the only other one that knows and w/o this site, I'd prbly talk his ear off about stuff he doesnt really know much about!!!

- I can kind of understand your husband's fears b/c my husband had a "classmates.com" experience that went HORRIBLY WRONG!!! so i didnt want him on FB or the computer ever again!! he eased my fears by giving me full access to his page, etc...

- Maybe let your hubby see this site and read about us?? he will see that we are just a bunch of "chubbies" yapping to each other!!!:laugh:

BTW-I'm on here about 3-4 times a day!!!

I was wondering what happened to you. To me if there has to be trust in one another. I was married once to a person who I thought that really loved me..he controlled every aspect of my life..who my friends were (didn't have any but his), how long it took to go to the grocery, wasn't allowed to attend study groups for school projects, showed up at work all the time to bring me flowers, lunch, snacks or whatever (really just to make sure I was there and doing what I was suppose to). It took me many years to realize this was not love that is was abuse. I am now married to the man of my dreams. He is my soul mate. We have so much trust between us. There is nothing I can't do and nor do I have to ask for permission to do anything. He is well aware of this site, my Facebook site..he knows that I chat with males that I worked with or went to school with or are losing weight with but he also knows that I would NEVER do anything that would put my marriage in jeopardy or even come close to it. I am very happily married and that is very important and I take my vows very seriously. I also love to talk to people as well as my husband does. This is very long I know Jmunks but I think you need to really step back and see where you two are in life. I only want the best for you! Take care.

Yes, it's true I don't neglect the household for the computer. I leave my log on info up so anyone can read anything on my pc. Also, it's like many of you say, he doesn't know answers to specific lapband and food problems. I tried to let him read the site but so far he has not wanted to. I compare the eating and addiction analogy and that did not go over well cause he thinks it's "simple" to lose. I just come on once in the morning (when the kids are asleep) and maybe once in the afternoon but I am no longer coming on the site in front of him although he has not said anything else about it since last week. I did agree to not get on often and try not socializing/commenting but I don't know how that will turn out.

Thanks everyone!

-my husband knows about this site. he is prbly glad that you guys are here for me b/c he is the only other one that knows and w/o this site' date=' I'd prbly talk his ear off about stuff he doesnt really know much about!!![/color']

- I can kind of understand your husband's fears b/c my husband had a "classmates.com" experience that went HORRIBLY WRONG!!! so i didnt want him on FB or the computer ever again!! he eased my fears by giving me full access to his page, etc...

- Maybe let your hubby see this site and read about us?? he will see that we are just a bunch of "chubbies" yapping to each other!!!

BTW-I'm on here about 3-4 times a day!!!

It was your blog that got me in trouble.....(lol)

After reading everyone's post above I agree with them all to some extinct.

My advice to you is to remember what you’re on this site for, it's important for you to interact with people who are experiencing some of the same things you are experiencing. If you’re soon to be husband can't relate talk to him about how you feel. Explain to him how the site is used as an educational tool and nothing else. I realize we as women feel like it's our job to maintain happiness in the home but when it's all said and done if your not happy than know one else will be.

Be true to you this is a lifestyle change for you......

I hope he understands and supports your decision...

Good Luck!!!!!

OMGoodness!!! (LOL!)