Ok so I'm by no means thin or skinny but my surgery has definitely helped, if not made me change my outlook on food and over eating.

I now know and understand how the rest of the world looks at us and why some almost feel a disgust for us. I never understood it until now... and now that it's finally clicked I never want to be there again.

Before I continue let me first say I don't believe in discrimination against anyone for any reason. I also do not believe in judging a book by it's cover and I realize this may be hard for some of you to read or accept but it's my thoughts and my blog and if you're bothered by what I say, feel free to kindly hit the x, or take part in a respectful and intelligent debate. I'm up for either.

All of that being said...let me continue.

The problem with fat people is...

1.) We're killing ourselves

2.) We (meaning most) do nothing about it

3.) We've developed such shameful eating habits that we've also developed denial right along with it.

4.) We encourage others to eat with us, as if when we eat with other people it doesn't count.

5.) We seek out others like us, so we have eating buddies.

I can go on and on about all of this.. but it has really just got to stop.

So, my ever so rude awakening came when I opened my home to a young lady from church. I invited her to stay with the hopes of helping her grow spiritually and financially and remove her from the living situation she was in.

Everything was ok at first, until I started noticing her eating habits. Just greedy and fat and not in a cute lil' have a fat day and pig out kinda way. In a I eat like this EVERY day at EVERY meal kinda way.

Understand this is not a rant about any one person, I just use my examples as a reference point.

It's hard for me as a foodie to live with someone who eats so extreme, especially when I'm still recovering and being delivered from that area myself.

For years I had myself fooled that "I didn't really over eat." because I went all day without eating and then thought nothing of going through the drive thru at 10pm for 2 double cheeseburgers, fries and sweet tea. Rationalizing it in my head that I hadn't eaten all day. When the truth of the matter is, that was too much freakin' food at one time, for anyone at any given time. I was eating like a linebacker and wondering why and how I ended up with the physique of one.

I really thought there was nothing wrong with my behavior, or at least I thought, I thought that.. looking back on it I realize now that I would ALWAYS mute my phone while ordering so the person on the other end didn't hear. Or eat it in the car and throw it away before I went in the house, even though I lived by myself... All acts of a shamed and guilty person.

So now I have a young lady in my home who thinks nothing of downing 3 fried hotlinks at a time. These are not small hotdogs, I mean the hillshire farm kind that can be split in two and used as a hotdog...that type. Someone who I made 2 boxes of mac & cheese for easy leftovers, I had 1/2 of cup and went back to put it away only to find an empty pan.

Someone who as I'm making cookies for church (simple breakaway readymade ones) can't control themselves and takes a block of unmade cookies and thinks it's funny.

Someone who has lunch, then comes home and ransacks whatever is in the fridge not an hour later, eating a dinner I prepared for someone else.

And to be honest....it's disgusting. I had to stop and have a moment and repent for thinking so poorly of someone but then I realized being obese really truly is a disease. The trouble with fat people is, we don't see it often times until it's too late. We're literally eating ourselves to death and it's disgusting to watch.

I wonder how many times did someone think the same of me? People would always make comments to me about how they don't consider me "fat" that being "fat" was gross and that I wasn't, I was just overweight. Skinny/thin people would make these comments to me and I never understood why, or what made me different. Was it the way I carried myself? How I dressed? How I was shaped? No what it is, is that I NEVER ALLOWED them to watch me pile food into my mouth like some out of control cross between a hungry hippo and a garbage disposal.

Even if I was eating out with people I would eat normally. Sometimes over indulging in bread, but always having a takehome bag/box. UNLESS, I was having a "fat day" with one of my "fat friends" who had lured me out to eat something fattening and just indulge in it. This is where we sabotage ourselves and each other.

While it's fine to have a cheat day or meal, we shouldn't encourage it with each other. I have a good friend who lives in another state and we would both get Oreo shakes and bacon cheddar wedges from Jack in the box and eat them while on the phone together when we were having "bad" or "fat" days... WHO DOES THAT?!?!??! Fat people...that's who!

I notice too how my friends plan their vacations around eating, I've had 3 people say to me "Oh when I get there, we're gonna eat this this this this ____ this this this blah blah blah..." I just kinda laugh it off when the reality is ummm NO WE'RE NOT... you might, but I'm not.

Then the funny part is when you don't indulge your fat friends will then start to try to gode you into eating with them, by saying things like "Oh you think you're too good now cause you lost some weight?" or something to that effect, even though it's in a joking manner.. they still mean it.

Or friends who look at you funny because you've lost weight... and say things that they mean as a compliment but really just come out sounding bitter.

We do it to ourselves...all of this to ourselves and the problem with Fat people is we're sick and we don't even realize it. Looking back on it I know and realize I was addicted to food. The tastes, the flavors, the textures.. I would almost get a high off of it. I think that's why it's so hard for me to watch others now who are still sick.

It's like when someone stops smoking, they can't stand to be around other smokers.. it's the same feeling..

Ok I'm rambling.. feel free to respond or not I just needed to get this out.. these thoughts were blocking my other thoughts I needed to get to for another writing I'm doing.. but man.. whew.. I feel better :smile2: