It is hard to believe that another month has gone by. It is interesting because I struggled a bit this month and felt like I was at a plateau. However, I lost 7.4 lbs this month which is around (albeit the low side) of what I tend to lose monthly. So, no plateau. I was very happy that I hit the 50 pound mark this month!

I read a book last week called Thin is the New Happy. Although the author didn't have the exact same issues I do, reading about how someone overcame similar struggles is interesting to me. So I bought a few more books in the same genre. Now I'm reading The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. I haven't gotten that far, but so far, it is great!

She isn't a LAP-BAND® patient. She is dieting...but some of the thoughts are the same. Plus, haven't we ALL been through times like this???

Quote #1: "...I worried that it just wouldn't work. I've been fat for so many years-what if my body isn't capable of shrinking? What if the blubber plain refuses to budge? What if my fat cells have mutated into a strain of super evil fat cells that laugh in the face of celery sticks and lean protein? What will I do then? Hack at my belly rolls with a chain saw?"

Quote #2: "I'm getting obsessed with points. It's not enough just to count my own, now I'm snooping at my colleagues' lunches and mentally calculating the damage. At the supermarket yesterday i was peeking in people's shopping trolleys and crunching their numbers."

Oh Lordy, I was SO that way. In fact, I still have thoughts about the first quote. I've only been below 200 lbs once in my adult life. Can I even weigh 185? Or 165 like my nutritionist thinks? Or , 145 like my surgeon predicts?? I can't imagine that, so it is hard to have the faith that it can happen.

One thing I do know is that I am starting to have a more normal (or healthy anyway) relationship with food. I went out to dinner with some friends and I had the Lobster Ravioli, in fact I split it with one of my friends. I would have NEVER ordered that because it is so rich and high in calories. All my life, I have either been on a diet or totally not dieting. But when I was off the wagon, I tended to hide my hoarding. If no one saw it, it didn't really happen, right? But now, when I'm out for something special, I order what I want. I just don't eat much. At my dinner, I had 2 1/2 raviolis and 1/2 bowl of soup. It was absolutely DELICIOUS! But the best part was that it was SATISFYING!!

Not sure if I will get another post done before I leave on vacation tomorrow. So, I hope you all have a WONDERFUL holiday!!