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Might as well face it...

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asteenho

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...I'm addicted to food. (but i already knew this) So I'm post op Day 10, and am on pureed foods, but I'm not having any problem digesting anything. This has kind of been a tough weekend for me, so excuse my lengthy stories. First, hung out with my friend Chris, and he was giving me a bit of a hard time about not even wanting to go to a restaurant with him, so he could eat. Saying "are you going to drop off the face of the planet now because you don't eat?" I laughed it off at the time, but this coming from a guy who was in AA for a bit (not an alcoholic, but wanted to better himself) and i didnt see him for the year he was in it! Some audacity! Then today, i went to friends BBQ, she's been good, really supportive. I put a thing of applesauce and a protein shake in my purse. I knew i might not be hungry, but I would want to eat, so I wanted to have good choices available. Pretty smart, i thought. It was soooooo hard. I had no idea. I ate my applesauce (although too fast, like i wanted to hide the fact that i brought my own food) and gulped down my protein shake. Those hotdogs and etc looked so good. I kinda pouted over at my friend, and she laughed and offered to let me have a bite of her hotdog. And I did it! And it was heaven. I also ate some other unmentionables :smile2:. So here I am, at the end of my night, feeling frustrated. I'm only post op day 10 and I'm cheating! Honestly, I did my research on this surgery, I KNOW it's only a tool, and I need to work with it. Am I being too hard on myself? Do I need to be like an alcoholic and keep myself away from those events, even though I love my friends, and I love my social life? An alcoholic wouldnt go to a bar, i shouldnt go to a restuarant, or a bbq. Maybe the more I abstain, the easier it will get. I'm not depressed, I still feel motivated. Advice?

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I have been having a REALLY hard time too! Old habits are hard to break. Over the weekend, I went to a birthday party. I didn't eat anything there but used that as an excuse to have bites later. Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks post op and I have already been eating soft foods. I have found I can eat just about anything. I have got to stop taking bites here and there. I am upset with myself but we will just have to kick ourselves out of it. Next week I am going to a rehearsal dinner and wedding! It is hard to watch people eat. My own family orders takeout, makes pancakes, etc. I feel like a recluse that comes and gets on the internet while they eat.

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HI,, this is very normal.. Once you get a few fills and have some restriction in your band, things will be easier to pass up and stay on track, because when you eat, it'll be a small amount and you'll be full for a few hours. just hang in there, your doing fine, your n "bandster hell " right now, time before fills, you'll survive it, we all been there, well, you took a bite of this or that, i bet in the past you would of eaten the whole thing and then some. so be proud of just a couple bites of things, it a step in the right direction, we cant change so fast, it's a process.. small steps lead to big accomplicaments! :)

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Just don't get into a routine where you cheat all the time. Make it a once in a while. I am 9 months out and still have my cheat days. After I had surgery it was the hardest for me too. I just wanted to eat what I wanted and didn't think twice about it. I didn't lose for 6 months because of this thinking. I didn't really know enough about the surgery to know I was eating too much. I thought if I cut down on portions no matter what I ate I would lose. Good luck with that one. You will do just fine and making it to day 10 is an accomplishment in itself. You should be proud of that.

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Ok, I am almost at my one year mark lost over 100 pounds. What I have found is I have "disordered eating" I can only speak for myself. I have food problems, issues with food, and food plays head games with me 24-7. AA does have a workable philosophy so does OA and I do use the philosophy although I do not go to any meetings. For some it becomes a way of life. My band tool is my way of life now. Oh and if you cheat the only one you hurt is yourself. I gave this tool to myself as a last ditch effort to save my life from my own self destruction. I try everyday to make the best possible choices with food. I sure can eat anything I want even after many fills and un-fills. Today I make better and more healthier food choices. Try to Forgive yourself and move to the next level of this game of life. Best wishes imaluckydog

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Thanks so much for reading and then writing. Its encouraging to hear everyone's take, and everyone else's struggles too.

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asteenho, please share this blog with our June bugs, we are all at or near this stage and these comments from "veterens" will help us, it did me!

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May bandsters are there too, or maybe its just that I was banded 5/26 which is almost June? Its hard to stay strong at the beginning, which is why I think they call it bandster hell? Too hungry and easy to eat too much, loving the success of the post-surgical weight loss, afraid to see a scale go the other way..........

I feel like, even being almost 4 weeks post op, that it is still a daily (almost hourly sometimes) challenge. I put one foot in front of the other, try to stop beating myself up over straying when I stray, and continuously trying to focus on the positive.

I get so much out of this website -- the blogs and the forums -- that I use in many ways. Keep going, keep smiling and picture the end -- you achieving your goal, being healthy and making choices in everything you do to make you happy, healthy and live a longer life :-)

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I'm just glad to hear that things get better after the first fill. Because I don't feel any restriction now either. I have caught myself drinking really quickly and have to stop myself. But I have had no problem keeping anything down. I have even had tuna and some bits of soft chicken. Granted I am making sure everything is chewed up really well, but I feel like there is no restriction for me. Hopefully I will feel more full fast once I get a fill in 3 weeks or so.

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thanks everyone! I don't know to share it ssmom? Just tell people to come view my blog?

I love all the feedback this website helps provide.

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