Ok so I come home last night after eating good all day and I weigh 4 more lbs than what I weighed the day before. It is like I can't get back to 226 to save my life. I don't know what I am doing wrong but the way I ate yesterday I should have been down a lb or so. I am drinking my water, walking, eating my protein. I just don't know. Before having surgery I lost 30 lbs before we went on vacation in Sept and it only took me 3 months to do that but now that I have had surgery it is taking alot longer to lose weight. What have I done to myself? I know I need to get to the gym and swim but working this OT is taking it's toll on me. I've been up since 3:00 and the internet was down for 2 1/2 hours of that so now that I can get on, I've had alot of time to think. I'm reading "Ultimate lap-band success" by Dr. Duc Vuong. He has alot of good information about behavior and I fall into the category of not getting my act together. I fall off the wagon it seems like every other day, I can't just stay on eating small amounts. Do I need a fill? I think so but I have to wait until Tuesday to get one. I don't know if that is going to make a change but I went 6 hours between lunch and dinner yesterday but Sunday I was hungry after 3 hours so I don't know what is going on with my band. It is very frustrating. I don't have to go in and do OT today...go figure since I have been up since 3, would have come in handy today of all days. So maybe tonight I can get to the gym and do some exercising for about an hour. I mean I worked so hard to get approved by my insurance. It took 1 1/2 years from my first appt with the surgeon to my approval letter in the mail. I had to exercise, journal, keep track of my thoughts and feelings, no drinking 30 minutes before and 1 hour after my meals, learn to chew chew chew. There was alot of things that lead up to this point and it isn't coming together like I thought. It is very disappointing that my mother has lost 22 lbs in her first month I haven't lost that much since having surgery. I didn't weigh myself this morning and don't think I will for a few days at least until Sunday and then I will see where I am at. Work was good yesterday, I got my score card for the month of May and I met my goals for sales and did above the average on receipts so it was good. Alot of co-workers didn't get good scores so they were upset but they only have themselves to blame on that one. I guess I only have myself to blame for me not losing the weight. I just need to get it together and it seems like it was just last week that I was saying the same thing and still haven't gotten it together. Just another story of my life. Husband is still supporting me and keeping me feeling like I really amount to something in his life and he would die if something happened to me. He doesn't like to see me upset about what is going on with my weight but he says he loves me for who I am and I am beautiful the way I look. And that is why I love him. He has been here when I gained the 70 lbs and he will still be here when I lose it and more. I just love him so much, he is my life. And of course the dogs. My daughter is in WY with her boyfriend whom I don't like but have to live with the fact that she is 22 and can do what she wants but we are here if she needs to come back home or can't make it there. She has a weight problem and her boyfriend seems to love her for who she is and doesn't mind her being fat. It bothers me more since diabetes runs in our family and I don't want her health or body to suffer because she is carrying around an extra 100 lbs. So now that I have told you how grand my life is...this is my story for the day. Hope you have a good one.