My surgery date was May 3rd. It was a long road to get there. I waited for all the medical information necessary to send to the insurance. Then, once submitted, the insurance company wanted more info. After 2 tries I was given the okay to go ahead with the surgery. OMG what a trip through the pre-op regimen, the surgery day jitters, to the first week of hunger, gas, clear liquids. All my bad habits reared their evil heads. For some reason all I've wanted to do this past week is bake. Cookies, banana bread, elaborate dinners. I can't have any of this!!!! Why am I torturing myself? I gave into temptation and ate a cookie. Well sort of. I chewed then spit it into the sink. I just wanted some texture and the chewing sensation. What I've realized is that my weight is directly connected to my emotions. Chewing is like suckling. Food is my friend. Always there for me. I guess it is now time for me to be there for me huh? Goodbye overindulgance. Goodbye late night snacking and all day grazing. No more sunflower seeds to replace bordem. And so my journey to my new self begins.