Today is a sad day for me. My boyfriend of a year and half decided to part ways yesterday. I have been doing pretty well for the most part....mainly b/c I went into the relationship with minimal expectations. I had met him shortly after getting out of a 2 year relationship with another guy, so I didn't want to be hurt the same way I had been previously. It has helped...b/c I am not devastated like last time! I was a complete wreck for days! This time, it makes me sad when I think about calling him....or when I wait for his call.

It just hit me that he was the only one who knew about my decision to be banded. I didn't even tell my family. I live about an hour from my family...and we aren't super close (although we get along)...so I could totally hide it from them if I wanted to. Now....what am I going to do? He was so supportive of me and my decision...and now I have no one! I know at some point, I'll have to let someone know....but who? Who can I trust enough not to judge me? Who can I trust enough not to tell everyone?

I think this realization just made the breakup that much harder. I was ok up until about 15 minutes ago when this thought came in to my head. He was going to be the one to bring me to the hospital. He was going to be the one to stay for the day with me while I recovered in the hospital. He was going to be the one to drive me home. Now....I have no one. :thumbup:

Gosh, it seems like my life is one giant disappointment after another. How much can one person take? I am overweight (and have been for all of my life) and can't lose the weight no matter how HARD I try.....I could never finish college no matter how many times I tried to go back.....it seems like my finances are always wacky - never far ahead......my desire to be married with children seems like it will never happen - especially after being in two long-term dating relationships with both of them ending. I can't win. I am afraid that getting the band will just be another one of those things that I look forward to, only to be sorely disappointed.

My heart hurts. 3 :confused:

It is going to be OK. Your heart will hurt for a while but for only as long as you will let your heart hurt. We are your friends here on this site you can tell us any thing we will not judge you. I was banded June 29 of last year. I am coming up to my one year bandversary LOL.... This will change you, I did not tell my mother and only my two adult children and husband know. I just did not want all the questions. I just tell people I eat real food not too much and mostly plants with protein first. It works for me and I am very happy.

It is possible to take care of yourself after the surgery. Not as much fun though that is having someone else to help out. Some people do not even stay over night in the hospital. I had to because my surgery was at 4:30 in the afternoon. My Dr. does about 3 or 4 of these a day. Some go right home. Now you are sore and there is some pain but as I recall the Meds help. You feel better so soon. I can hardly believe it has almost been 1 year. Where does the time go. Best wishes and now take care of yourself and good things will happen to you. imaluckydog

Life is all about change - and this change is something that you need to grow from and learn from. if this person was the ONLY person you told about surgery, maybe you need to let someone else in to the "inner circle" whether it is a family member or very close friend. I am not saying that you need to tell everyone, however, if you take a friend into your confidences, it might help you through several things (the break up and the surgery).

My surgery was a same day proceedure, and I was very happy to have someone at home to help me out during that first 24 hours after surgery. I have a friend, tho, who just wanted to be left alone, and after having another friend bring her home, she opted to spend the first night alone, and she is doing well.

This break up is still very new - be good to yourself over these next couple of days, and dont make any rash decisions.

The band is not something that will leave you - it is a tool to remind you how to life your life healthier and better. Just like any relationship, it takes work, it does have a honeymoon period (where you have to learn to live with it) but in the long run, it is so worth it.

best wishes.

Hey girl! I'm so sorry... :thumbup: It always sucks to break up (but girl sounds like you aren't that upset about him), and that means it wasn't meant to be! Sometimes when you aren't looking is when you find what you always wanted! Be strong and know that things will look up! I have a feeling that the band is going to be your pot of gold at the end or the rainbow. And I was the same way about not wanting to tell people, cuz I was afraid of haters, but its wasn't bad. The worse thing came from one of my in-laws who said "you look good, but so could I if I was a cheater"! LOLLOL HATER in the house. But, she shut up after my husband said, hey you could be a "cheater" too if you had a job that offered insurance! LOL But, other then that everone has been great. I think everyone will want to see you be happy and heathly. I wouldn't worry about it too much! Well take care and good luck! Keep us updated!

That is tough. Especially during this time of transition. This surgical goal is going to be a major part of the life you deserve. Make sure you focus on it even more so than before, and let someone in to lean on. You should not go this alone. We all need support. Open up, find someone you can depend on. Invite them out for coffee. Be honest, and ask them to sponsor you during this effort. You are going to be alright, and your future husband is out there waiting for you on the other side of this.