I thought this would be a good idea! I already keep a journal, just for myself. But maybe this would be informative for someone else. I am 41 yrs old, housewife, mother, massage therapist. I have been on the weight roller coaster for many years now, ever since I got married at age 21, which will be 19 years this July! I gain, I lose, I gain back...usually more than I lost, but not always. Over the years my "top weight" had gradually increased. Eventually I went up to 260. I was miserable. I wanted to go to massage school. I worked hard again, and dropped 65 lbs by the time school started(thanks to Quick Weight Loss Center). I maintained well through school, being busy helps! But during my internship, which was spotty as far as time, I started gaining again. By the time I had my license and was out working, I had gained 30 lbs! I was barely hanging on until I got very sick. I got walking pnuemonia, which set me back. I also gained a lot of weight. Then I was in a car accident, hurt my leg real bad. More set backs, more weight. Got sick again with the pneumonia and several bouts of bronchitis. More weight, less motivation, less physical strenth. It went up from there, finally topping out at my most recent highest ever-- 293.5!! .

So then I had the mentality of "Why fight the battle when I am going to lose the war? What incintive do I have?" Just get used to being fat, and eat what you want. Why bother?

Ok, fine... but.. being at that weight was ruining my life. I was only operating at 50%. I did not have the energy or motivation to go out and find work (self-employed). This hurt my relationship with my DH. He wants me to work and bring in $$, especially after all the $$ I spent in school and CEU courses afterwards (I had 52 CEU hours in my first year of license, I was a real go getter at first, before I gained the weight).

I also had several other things be affected... my sex life (almost non-existant), I could not run and play with kids, I was too embarassed to go swimming with the family and would sit out. I used to ride horses all the time, my life passion! Nothing occupied my mind more over the many many years more than horses! Now I was too fat to ride. I would have to ride a draft horse! Even when I did ride a horse that could handle my weight, I felt too unbalanced, unsafe. If the horse was to take a quick turn, being spooked or something, I would come off, hit the ground HARD! I ride on streets. Asphalt is NOT forgiving! I stopped riding when I was about 260. I wound up driving miniature horses. They can pull me in a cart just fine down the street! So I have been doing that for a couple years now. However, if there was to ever be an emergency, and I needed to hop out of the cart... good luck with that! My weight prohibits me to act fast and quickly, safely. So I got scared about that, and eventually quit driving as well.

And of course, there is the usual depression. I started hating myself, hating any skinny woman I saw, hating that even at Walmart I was having trouble finding the size I needed.. XXX. I had to go to specialty stores. Myfeet gave me major problems, which lamed me up more. At one time I was borderline diabetic, according to my doc.

I started to explore differnt ways to get rid of this weight more permanetly. I came across the LAP-BAND®®®®. I ray of hope entered my life! Could this be the magic bullet?

I have used tools in the past to lose weight, like the Metabolife, Weight Watchers, QWLC, etc. The support and help I got from these really helped! I needed soemthing like that again, but something stronger, something that would stay with me always. A constant motivator. The Band seems to be it. I had to give it a try. The big things that were holding me back to get it was money, and pursuading DH to let me get surgery. He is very protective of me and highly values me. Dosn't want to lose me to some complication and be left raising my now 2 kids alone.

My insurance would not pay for it. I dropped that insurance and got another that the sales guy told me they would do it. I let almost a year go by, and then I tried to do it. They would not, he lied to me! Luckily I had gotten some inheritance from my grandmother this past year. Now was my chance! I decided I could pay cash for half, and Care Credit the other half. Now DH had to be convinced. By this point, he realized I am so affected by the weight, something has to be done, so he finally agreed after I educated myself and him about the whole thing, and the risks.

I met once again with True Results (I I talked with them a year ago when I was first intersted). On the scale I was 293.5. I commited to doing it. I came in for the pre-op talk with the surgeon. I had already dropped about 10 lbs, because I was now determined I was going to do this one last time, and was eating better.

He told me about the pre-op diet. I had 3 weeks before surgery. I was very faithful to the diet and had no regrets or strayed from it. Once I set my mind on something I want, I go get it! I just had to mentally prepare myself for this battle and war, once again, hopefully for the final time. Itwas working! Ilost a total of 30 lbs by surgry day.. April 14th 2010. I was already feeling better and stronger. I started working out again at Curves (I had a membership that I had carried for a year without going!!)

Then the big day arrived! I did not think I was nervous. but apparently I was. That morning I felt shaky, and a bit light headed, some nauseousness. I thought I was sick, and would not be able to go! But then I figured out it was nerves! I settled down a few hours later. I took the kids to school, came back, and showered with the special soap they required. I was there by 9:30am. The hardest part was not drinking! My mouth was very dry. I would take baby sips of water, just enough to wet my mouth.

I filled out papers, gave a pee sample (to prove I was not pregnant), got the IV in, the Heprin shot, the wonderful gown on, all that. Then I said goodbye to DH.

I woke up in the recovery room. Very woozy, and sore. They had me get up and get my clothes on, quite a chore! Then they got me inot the xray room and swallow barium. The xray showed that the band was too tight, nothing going through! So I had to lie on a table while they pushed around on me (OUCH!) to find the port. Then I guess they took some out. Did the barium again, now it was fine.

They finally got me into the car on to the house, DH driving. I was quite sick at my tummy by then, and dry heaved a few times (ouch!). I could not drink anything. DH called the nurse and they called in a prescription for a supository. He also got the liquid Vicodin. The Vicodin would not stay down. I just had to deal with the pain until the next day. I eventually felt better by nightfall. I just went to sleep. It wasn't the best night sleep, but it worked.

Next morning I felt Ok for drinking something. I had a protiend shake, and some broth. Then I took some pain meds. They stayed down, but did not do any good. Call the nurse! She said to take liquid Motrin in between doses of Vicodin. Eventually that worked, by nightfall, the pain was getting less. I forced myself to walk around the house off and on. I took the Gas X. Next day I was walking around outside in the yard. Next day down the street to the stop sign and back, a couple of times! I was still quite sore. Rolling over at night in bed was painful too. I could only sleep on my right side for a while. Then I could tolerate my back. Now I am about to be able to sleep on my left, but it still pinches and hurts sometimes. Getting up from achair or bed was very painful too for a while. Now it is no big deal, just some minor pain (I am 8 days post-op today). My shouldr has started to hurt again. So that bugs me. Today though, has been my most painfree day!

But 2 days ago, it was a bad day! I was hurrying out the door to take kids to school, now that I could drive again. I must have drunk my smoothie too fast, something. I got on the road and felt nauseous, weak, yucky. I started thinking about the surgery. Thinking about the pain i was experincing, and how I was stuck with this thing inside me, unless I got another operation. I do not know if I somehow psyched myself into feling like this, or what. I tried to think of other things. After dropping the kids off, I hurried home (2o minute drive). the feelings of sickness got worse! I really thought I would have to pull over and either puke or call for help. I was really scared. I did not know what was going on!:sad: It was a real mental battle for me to get home OK. Then I ran to the bathroom. I never threw up, but I did have loose bowels. I took a supository and went to bed. Two hours later I was OK. I was weak, but not sick at my stomach. I took it easy the rest of that day and the next. I was worried the next day if I would start feeling like that again. I did not drink a smoothie before leaving. I just took water with me. I was OK, just drained.

Now today I feel great!:wink2: Better than ever! I also got to start soft foods, like soup, and yogurt smoothies! That has also helped the stomach rumblings I sometimes have, hunger pains! I was not really hungry, but my stomach said it was ! That feeling of your stomach turning in on itself, growling, squiching around! Not fun!

Anyway, I am glad I have done this, so far. It has been a bit more of a recovery than I was thinking it would be, unexpected pain, soreness, etc. But I have been assured by many that this too... will pass... and be a memory.

So I hold onto that and continue to follow instructions closely and try to not over do anything. This is a good excuse to pamper myself and take the time I need to heal properly. Until next time my friend!!:smile2:

ps.. my goal is 170!:wink2: