First blog, first step to healthy
Wow! What a new world that I am about to embark on! I have joined (and started) this blog so that I can keep record of my thoughts, feelings, weight, etc, during this journey to a healthy me. I want to be able to look back and say, "Look how far I have COME!"
I am a mother of 4 children (2 of the them are natural; 2 are 'bonus children' from my husband). I love them all and love spending time with them. My husband has two boys, 12 and 13. I have a son who is 11. And, our daughter together is 10 months old. I am 30 years old and have my hands full, for sure!
All of my life, I have been overweight. I have often joked that I was the sister who was slapped with "the fat stick". Both of my parents are of normal weight, as is my sister. However, if you look closely at the women on my father's side of the family, all of us are of size. Weight is something that I have always seemed to struggle with. When I was 9, I remember at the health fair at school, hiding my card because my weight showed 104 pounds. I remember when I was 12, going to a chiropracter for the first time with my Mom. There were no health issues--I just wanted to go because she was going. They weighed me and I was 184 pounds! I can't believe how that number has stuck with me all of these years! Over the years, my weight has crept up.
For the longest time, I refused to step on scales. When I was 18 (1998), I got pregnant with my son. I was probably around 215 at that time. I have no idea how high I was for sure on the scale. I gained 70 pounds with him, but lost most of the weight after I had him. The next time I stepped on a scale, it was 2005. It said 270 and I almost fainted! I couldn't believe how high my weight had gotten. It seemed like overnight, but it really wasn't. After, that, I tried various diets (and failed) and swore off scales again.
Around that time, I met my incredibly supportive husband. He has always loved me the way I am and never misses an opportunity to tell me how beautiful I am. He is amazing. Needless to say, being in love and happy prompted me to put on even more weight. My weight crept up to 309 when I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. Can you believe one of my first thoughts was,"Wow! I can't gain anymore weight while I am pregnant with this one."? Well, I topped out around 332. That was my heighest point and my most miserable point. My ankles were swollen and it was horrifying carrying around that extra weight on my already loaded down frame. After I had my daughter, I lost 40 pounds. But, like clockwork, it came back up.
Today, I am sitting at 320 and have beat myself up time and time again. I look at pictures and want to cry sometimes. There are very few pictures of me with my family and most of those are waist up. I guess there have been times that I have been an emotional eater, but I don't really see that as my main problem. My issue is being full. I always seem to be hungry and love the full sensation. Embarassing, yes.
I made the decision to explore weight loss surgery and am very proud of my decision. I know I need to do something for my health and my family. I want to be around for my children and grandchildren. I want their memories to be doing things with them and not being tired from lugging around extra weight. I want to be able to sleep well at night (I haven't woken up well rested in at least 5 years). I am so motivated and this point and can't wait to sail straight forward.
I attended my first seminar last night with another scheduled for this Saturday. Gastric bypass is just too invasive for my liking. I toyed around with the sleeve for a bit. A friend of mine went from 270 to 135 in a mere year using that tool. Of course, my insurance won't pay for that. I did, however, find out that my insurance will cover LAP-BAND® at 100%. I am quite certain I will be headed in that direction. I do know i will have to work at it hard, but I am sooooo ready.
After my seminar this weekend, I will be equipped to make a surgeon decision and plan on making it quickly. I can't wait to get this ball rolling!
I am going on a cruise to the Bahamas with my family this June and plan on it being the last trip I take that I have to worry about fitting in an airplane seat...haha!! I would really love to get the surgery done after that. I would actually do it beforehand, if given the choice, but being out of the country so soon afterwards probably isn't the smartest decision!
If any of you "bandsters" have any comments, suggestions, or supportive thoughts, please let me know! I have a supportive family but is would be so helpful to have others in my same boat to share this experience with. I am ready to do this...and ready to do this RIGHT!
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