Bandster hell.....Not too bad
Well...Im almost 1 month post op 6 days til post op anniversary of one month. I can't believe everything that has happened to me already. Healing from surgery was not pleasant, and I really do believe that I did recover more slowly than others because I am a smoker. Since then after two weeks of recovery, I got bronchitis and a head cold....they are finally leaving my body now. I also have had a bout with more depression and anxiety and I have seen my psychiatrist and she has increased my meds for now. The depression is getting better. I have found that I am more in a "funk" when I stay home all day and do nothing. It's those days I want to nap or feel down....So, I need to get out of the house daily. Even if it's just to go lay by the pool or go to the tanning bed...anything to get me outta the house is good for me. The last 2 days I have been walking. Saturday, I walked for 45 minutes and today I walked for 35 minutes. It really does feel good to get my body moving....a few weeks ago, exercise was just taking the dogs out. Now, when I do take them out I go for a longer walk with them then just the amount of walk for them to "get down to business" I can't believe I AM WALKING...ME the one who has so much pain in her knees...ME the one who hates to sweat, ME the one who weighs still over 300 pounds is walking. ME ME ME!!!!
It is such an awesome feeling to know that I CAN start taking care of my body....that I CAN be physically active. 4 months ago, I would go to wal mart and get a motorized chair to shop with.....NOT ANYMORE!! I CAN WALK.
I still have 2 weeks before my first fill and "bandster hell" has not been too unbearable. I guess because I drink a lot of water between meals and I'm getting in a lot of protein....some days over 100 grams. I feel so excited that I may possibly be getting my life back....It scares me though to think "well maybe this still wont happen for me"...I do still have those thoughts but they are getting less. I have been in the fight for my life for years and I had given up. Until Jan 4th 2010 when I attended my lap band seminar. Then the wild ideas about having a life again were just so amazing...amazing that MAYBE, it could happen to me.....I think it finally is....
I am so very proud of myself and I know there will be bumps ahead but dang this feels so good....it feels better than a reecees peanut butter cup would taste, or even chocolate mint ice cream.....this feels better than that!!!! I hope and pray that it continues....
Meg:unsure:
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