Why is it that people think when you are doing something life altering that they have an automatic right to speak their mind? I just can't imagine opening my big trap and blurting out things that I know would hurt and then be shocked when it does.

This morning my Dad said very hurtful things to me. Even when it was pointed out that it was mean and hurtful he argued, to the point of yelling, that it was not hurtful but true.

At first I thought people at work were supportative but now those fake supporters have been talking about me behind my back. They say I am just lazy and taking the easy road out. They say I am going to fail again. The surgery won't help. They know people that it didn't work. Well did they know whether or not the person actually followed the many guidelines?

I only ask that you don't assume anything about me because you obviously don't know me. I wonder, are you talking about me because you are jealous that I have the guts to say YES I NEED HELP and I am taking this giant leap forward? Don't judge me. I do this for me not you so stop making this about you and your obsessive negativity. :tongue:

yeah i've heard that ...they easy way. *rolls my eyes* I know it's hard not to take it to heart coz it's coming from your dad..but keep looking forward and all the benefits it'll have! :tongue:

Then sweetie stop subjecting your self to the wrath of their obsessive negativity. If you are already aware of their pre-dispostion to always believe or think the worst about something then ... for me anyways.. I dont bother to ask or need their opinion. I know its tough.. i feel like our dads are so similar..

Keeo this goodness for yourself like a present you found meant only for you. Nurture it and keep it close to your heart. Follow your own path. The same people who said you couldn't or shouldn't will soon eat their words. and you will have gained the strength inside for it. Remember to avoid naysayers for they are obstacles on your path to victory!

I had lap band surgery 6 days ago and it was the best decision i ever made, I too tried ever diet in the world but could not stick to any thing. This does not mean your lazy it means you need help!! Take all the negative energy and use it to your advantage and show them you can do it because i know you can!! Your doing this for you not them so who cares whay ANYONE thinks and only surround yourself with positive people. Your dad my just be nervouse for you and love you so much and to him yelling is his only way to show you. Keep positive!!

I only decided three weeks ago to even have the surgery and already i have learned that lots of people have a negative perception about it, and me it seems... or so i have realised after many years of knowing them. I spoke to some people in the chat room here about that issue and they advised me to not tell too many people about my decision. Reading your concerns this morning, i'm thinking it good advice for you and i both. Just know that you have many like minded pals in this forum, and until you are strong enough... or the results speak for themselves (and they will)... come here often and let others simply do what they need to do, and you too :-)

I was banded May 28 2009. Other than Accepting Christ, it was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Any one who believes it is EASY has not done it. Yes it helps, it is a tool only. It is not a magic pill or potion. You still have to watch what you eat. You still have to excercise. The band assists you in being successful because it keeps you from being so hungry that it is misserable while you are losing weight. If you are not ready to do the work and make a committment you can fail again. I say this to encourage you. Yes the band helps, Yes it is a tool. When it comes down to it people fail even with the band every day because bottom line, it is all you. You are the one making the choices to eat healther and excercise every day, you are the one saying no to icecream and junk food and only occassionally indulging yourself. The beautiful thing about the band is that you can have small amounts of just about any thing as long as you dont do it every day and listen to your band. Eat when your hungry. Not just when something sounds good to you. If i can do it any one can. I was scared to death I would pay for he surgery (yes I was Private Pay at 15000) and I would fail. I was actually terrified. as I had over and over and over again every other time I had tried to lose weight. I am down 77 pounds and feel like a new person, It is so worth it and I promis you you can do it. It is NOT the easy way out but the band is an incredible helpful tool that makes its possible. I thank God for my band and for the love and support of people around me and also on this web sight. Use them when you feel alone. God Bless and good Luck.

OMG well you can't help when your family is attacking you, but it sounds like you work in a TOXİC office! Wow.

So sorry. Honestly you are so brave to tell people. Only my husband, sister, and parent in laws know. Not even my own mother!

Please don't get disheartened. You are strong and brave and this is no easy way out!

Best wishes,

KT

The world is full of cruel and judgemental people...and those who have not have the band, let alone ever had to live their live obese...just have NO IDEA.

I didn't want to try to change my life and at the same time have to deal with the judgements or "supervision" of various family members/onlookers knowing that their thoughts would not be supportive, so when I was banded 3/31, I only told my DH (of course), my sister, best friend & dad. That's it. I didn't tell my mom, because I know she is competitive and very judgemental, and I didn't tell any of my brothers, co-workers, or other friends because I didn't want to have the CONSTANT doubts shoved in my face. I also didn't want to be discredited for the progress I will be making, because as the PP's said, Yes, I have the Band, but like a screwdriver, it is a TOOL and won't do any good unless you're willing to put in the work and change.

Just know that those who matter to you support you and your journey...and those that don't support you...well, they just shouldn't matter either.

Good luck!

I am sorry to hear about you going through this. Because of this very issue, I have decided not to tell anyone I am considering the procedure except one friend because she is considering it also. I have a family member who works at a health facility that performs Lap-Band procedures and thinks I am a good candidate for this procedure.

The three of us will be each other’s support system.

I have tried numerous weight loss programs and my mother and sister were my constant negative force that I believed I could not be successful. Eventhough I temporarily live with my mother, we are regularly home at he same time and we cook our own meals so sticking to the program should not be a problem.

Keep the negativity at bay. I just bought a wall hanging today that says, “If you believe it, you can achieve it.”

Well this is what my dad said. He said get the picture downstairs and you should look like that. Well that pic is of my when I was 17 in my prom dress. I will be 40 this year. I flat out told him I want to look healthy.

I chose to tell people and with that comes the negativity, I know. The group I work with eats a lot and I mean A LOT! They would notice if I was losing weight and not eating like normal. Plus for me it is more motivation to do the right thing so I can show them I will succeed. Plus there is one person at work who didn't tell people and actually started saying it was her "new diet" and all the exercise she does at home. Turns out now people are finding out it was the band and yes she had a large part in following the guidelines but they felt lied to by her. I am not going that route.

My mom wasn't at all thrilled about me having the surgery (I'm 45, btw) but my sister reminded my mom she was the one who my whole life told me I was "built like" my aunt, who weighed in at at least 250 and died from diabetes complications when she was in her 60's. I was diagnosed with diabetes 10 months ago. I've given up caring what people think, even those who said I didn't need it (BMI 36). This is my life and I'm doing it for me!

I too am diabetic. High blood pressure, cholesterol, the whole nine yards. This is for me and if I am taking a drastic step to make things right for me then that is what I am doing. I recognize I can't do it alone. I love this site. There is so much good information, sharing and support. You don't find that on any other weight loss site to the degree that is on here.