After doing well until 6:30pm tonight, a major setback - I had a brain-snap and pigged out on the way home, and again after I got home. Not as bad as in the old days - but a setback nonetheless. :faint:

I used to stop for food on the way home nearly every night, and eat it on the train or in the car before getting home. I'd then turn around and eat dinner, dessert, and secret late-night snacks.

For months, I'd kicked the car food habit - mainly by not letting myself ever feel too hungry in the afternoons. Obviously that's trouble in itself... At work I usually eat my way through the arvo - it must be boredom or frustration, because I don't do it on my non-work days.

I lapsed tonight on the way home - I was trying to get a headstart on the pre-op diet, and did well all day. However, I forgot I had a seminar to stay late for, which threw a spanner into the plans I made for dinner time, and I got too hungry (sugar-low kind of hungry). It was like a switch in my head flipped and I lost control. That physical drive to eat came back on with force. I went to Maccas' for a fillet-o-fish, fries and a diet coke, and when I was done, I said to myself "what the hell just happened here?". Then I went to get the groceries, and ended up also buying a roast chook and fattening deli-salads for dinner, this time washed down with several glasses of full-strength coke. Also bought a family block of Cadbury's for a late night snack (at least I gave DH half...). Double "what the hell just happened here???". I knew what I was doing, but couldn't stop myself from doing it anyway. :(

I know it's not a huge binge by some standards, but for me it was a major setback. However, I'm not going to get cut-up about it, at least now I recognise what just happened, and am trying to deal with it, whereas before I would have been in denial that it ever happened.:clap2:

Now I'm feeling queasy, and am trying to figure out what sort of control issue caused this incident - rebellion from being on a diet, or an inability to deal with feelings of hunger? Or both??:cool:

The late-night snacking I'll have to deal with by going to bed earlier. Or at least cleaning my teeth - after all, why spoil freshly cleaned teeth and fresh breath at that hour??

I am most worried about control issues once banded - I am hoping that I can use the band as a tool to learn how to control these old habits, and not sabbotage myself. Everyone's stories of success with these control issues are inspiring, and what helped me finalise my decsion to get banded. I definitely need to plug into a good therapist as well...:help:

I completely relate to what you are describing. I'm now banded and at least this first week the late night binging hasn't even been an issue. I'm sleeping thought the night and I know I can't eat. That combo keeps it from being an issue for me. Pre-op is going to be hard - its the same story as the years before. The band will help you regain control. Hang in there and keep sharing with us!

See - you realize that EVERYONE has struggled and in their own way overcome whatever is hardest for them -- before band and during - we're all human -- it is good to look within and see if you can figure out what started the binge - but you might be right -- when my blood sugar is low I eat like a zombie and realize later what all I ate -- strange but it really does happen - then when the sugar comes back up I come out of the fog lol -- so I avoid low blood sugar the best I can so I don't go through that kind of mindless eating -- and then school starts next week - it is really hard when I am in school - I don't get to keep a regular schedule at all - so I'll be fighting the binge demons myself come next week - hang in there!