*editor's note* this is from my main blog...some of this doesn't apply to this forum*

This will be another quickie – as this week getting back in the swing of things has been rather hectic. I promise to get back on my blogging game next week.

Well, looks like my “start date” (the hoop-jumping 3months I have to go thru for insurance, dr. Monitored weightloss, etc) will be pushed back 1 month. Instead of April, ill start in May – after Mother’s Day/the big GGX event in NYC. Mainly a money issue – I have a few things looming and lots of prep for the 3 vendor events I have in the next 6 wks, and I need to be able to focus all of my time & attention on that…for now.

BUT, if I can figure out a way to do it in April…I will. I’m just very ready to get the show on the road!! I under-estimated how much time and energy go into an actual event. And after the 2day expo this past weekend, I figure I really need to grind the next few weeks. Still praying for a way to get it all done according to schedule…but we’ll see.

Now – I have a rant. This is directed at the folks that have never struggled with weight in their life. I pose this question: Why do some people thinks its so easy to lose weight on your own? Be eat over eating/food addictions/emotional eating/etc or lack of exercise/motivation/lethargy/complacency… Do you think I’d be subjecting myself to a surgical process, hospital bills, etc…if it were “THAT easy”? Even in my most successful weightloss of 20+ lbs (attributed to pills that are no longer on the market), that was it. The 100+ I need to lose is not a matter of it being “THAT easy” if I just put my mind to it – as if I haven’t (put my mind/energy to it) done that already. Weight is a hard, hardddd thing to lose. ESPECIALLY once you have had a child. Why do you think so many people use Trim Spa, Quick Trim, cleanses, etc…hoping for some quick assistance (even the small ppl like Kim ‘Dash)?

Not to take ANYthing away from those who ARE, in fact doing it the “natural way” like my girl Benee -because she is one of the most dedicated folks I've seen. Here attitude, her drive, and the results are phenomenal. But as she's chimed in before - not everyone can do it that way. If we could, there wouldn't be such staggering rates of obesity. Not everyone is able - and for real? Eating healthy is EXPENSIVE. *sheesh* Just curious as to why MY decision to do what *I* need to do…rub so many people (in general) the wrong way? Even other overweight/obese people who are hell-bent on doing it their way…but have been unsuccessful for years. At what point do you decide that something isn't quite working for you? Some folks have been battling the buldge for 10, 15, 20 years like myself. At what point do you consider another alternative - especially when your health & life are at risk?

Let's just keep it real as we look at the chart...(after calculating our BMI's. Mine is 52. Which means I'm HALF fat. *smdh*) http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bminojs.htm

Height

How many truly obese people can 50+ pounds on their own, with no assistance? *shrug* Maybe it's just me...

If I trust God to protect me, that includes surgery. I can’t lose any sleep over the “potential complications” with out acknowledging the “potential gain” (which in this case, is weight “loss”). Its all worth it for me…a year from now, I will be A LOT healthier than I am today. Guarenteed. Not sure how many other folks can say that, but I'm glad *I* can...

*thats my rant and I’m sticking to it*

Amen Sister.... I completely and totally get what you are saying. I went to the doctor this week...my BMI is 52....ugh. I wanna say that I am a pretty level headed, live in the real world kinda girl. I know the right way to lose weight....and it "ain't" easy. Last year the company I work for had a "weight loss challange" kinda like a biggest loser thing. We were on teams...who ever lost the most won the prize... Well, I did the food journel, the exercising....the motivating everyone on my team....and I lost 28lbs. I was so happy...I felt great and was positive I would continue my efforts....then it happened...my crazy wonderful...dysfunctional...life got in the way. I put that food journal down one day....and haven't been able to find it since. Sadly without even trying...all of my weight is back and it's soooo frustrating. So...I decided I am not even going to try and explain to some people why I need this surgery....cause they are going to hear what they want to hear...and think what they want to think. I know the risk....and I know the dangers that come with this surgery...and if I have to be one of those people that have to prove that my self worth is just as important theirs....ring the bell, cause I have a few rounds of fight in me. Keep your trust in God...and all of this will fall into place just at the time "He" wants it to.

Note....girl you got me all fired up reading your blog...I like that. Heehee

you're a riot! welcome to my crazy existance! *lol*

Good to see you back! keep on rockin with ya bad self. Yo i just gota say you are f'n awesome. Keep your vision close to you and it will be fully yours and even better than you imagined!

Just a couple things came to mind when reading this post.

First. You are making the right decision by taking charge of your life. Unfortunetly sometimes we have to go through some mundane procedures to get where we want to be.. ie. insurance. Glide over these obstacles with grace and forthrightness and you'll be out of surgery before you know it.

Second.

Weight is different for all of us. But i would say the common denominator is weight carries emotion, just as much as muscles do. There is a memory associated with them. For many of us amazing righteous women, extra weight is a form of protection. Protecting us from whatever we need protection from. Deep emotional psychological shit. But again this isn't the time to get caught up in that either. We've already been swimming in it for the past 10-20+ years.

Insert Badu..(Bag Lady, you gon hurt yourself you can't hurry up cause you got to much stuff.)

At this time We are simple done. We no longer care to have or want the burden, pain, suffering to carry around. At one point in time we did need the weight to hold on to. Now we don't and we get to let go. Not only release the burden from your physical body but the mental and emotional as well. its a package deal folks.

Third

I just have to say this.. Chemical and psychological warfare has been perpetrated against us for decades. It is truly unbelievable what is manufactured as additives or natural flavors in (yes you said it girl) Cheap Food. I know I'm radical when I day this but Corporations are slowy kiiling raping and controlling us Via food chain and they know it.

Switching to eating healthy can be expensive especially if you are still buying the boxed stuff. Check out the bulk bins.. great deals. Why is it that REAL FOOD is more expensive that the bs made in a lab? Where is the LIFE FORCE of our food? They have stripped nature away from us in damn near every way possible. They raw vital energy and love food gives us can not be replaced by corn sizzurp.

This process is just that a process about LOVING YOURSELF.

A new concept for most of us... wonder why? Cause we are so damn awesome. I mean really super queens...

Jade...you just laid it down, sistah. POWER to the bad@$$ beeyatches on a mission! *pumpin my fist*

I swear you are a kindred spirit. *smh* you're so awesome. If you were a dude, I'd leave my husband for you *lol*

I'm focused, man. SO SERIOUS. and i am taking control of my life. You are right about the weight of "protection". but FUGG THAT! Excuse my language...life is short, and i need to get and STAY inthat righteous place. Eating is a very emotional thing for me...so learnig to break that cycle has been a doozy..BUT, im getting there.

And the other thing you are right about - the food chain & how it's KILLING us. makes NO sense that processed food - that stuff that has to go thru a million processes and chemicals and additives, is so much CHEAPER than something you can but right at the farmer's market...FRESH from the earth/trees/nature. *smh*

Stop getting me all riled up, woman!