35 days of realization
35 days ago..... I had a sort of awakening. I had a very intense moment of realization...that if I didn't fight for me...who would? Today I was able to feel that incredible rush of emotion that consumed me during those first few minutes of deciding to change my life over a month ago....and it was great! I had the "talk" with my primary care physician about my desires for the LAP-BAND® procedure. I waited a month after deciding to pursue the LAP-BAND® because I wanted to be educated with as much knowledge my brain could hold. I wanted to know the risks; I wanted to know the benefits. I wanted to know the difference between the realize band and the LAP-BAND®. I wanted to know how other people felt after their surgery. Basically I wanted to be well armored with as much info as possible. It was as if I was preparing to fight and defend my feelings to the world why I deserve to have this procedure. And then it happened....as I was explaining to him my feelings(yeah....I had a whole speech prepared in my head of why I was a candidate for the band....and I wasn't afraid to use it!!! ) he just smiled at me....and said "lets do it"! he told me that he would support me 100% and that we would start the 1st month of a supervised diet today.....so that leaves me only 5 more months to go!! Yay me! I realized going into my doctor’s visit today that regardless if I did or didn’t have the support of my physician....I would be able to find support elsewhere. BUT... I really wanted him to embrace this idea for me like I embraced it for me. I needed that extra little bit of confidence from someone who knows my medical history...it just kind of validated my feelings. Trust me, there are not very many times I have left the doctors office with an extremely positive outlook about my weight....but today it was just the opposite. Today was just for me...and I have the feeling it’s just the first of many to come….and when I finally made it into the “safe haven” of my car I was able to give release the river of tears that have been levied back for way too long.
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