I can't believe that in 18 days I will have a toll to help live a better and healthier life. I have so many dreams....things I want to do in my new life. I want to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. For the last week or so, I've been doing really well. I haven't even started my preop diet yet and I am down 12 pounds. For me, that is wonderful. I am very proud of myself. It's not easy, especially with Beth having all of the Mountain Dew in the fridge, but I know that I can't have even one sip, It would be detrimental to my health at this point. Probably because then I would want a whole one....

My body is feeling better in some ways as well. I seem to have a bit more energy and not needing to nap everyday like I used to. I am a bit nervous about seeing my doctor on Monday. I find out my test results and find out if I will be cleared for surgery.....gosh I hope so.

I can't wait for the day when I can walk one whole mile and not want to die on the sidewalk. I want so badly to enjoy nature, my dog, my wife, my life. Sometimes I sit and cry because I am 40 and feel as if I have wasted so much time...I want to enjoy the rest of my time on this earth...I want to live life to the fullest.

God, Buddah,....Please help me. Give me the strength and courage to do what I need to do for my health today....

Thank You!!!!

You are on your way and I am feeling every emotion that you are....Keep going!! We are on our way !!