This is kind of a long one so bear w/me...

I went to my surgeon's lapband support group last night. I've been doing great lately w/my band, but I still try to make it to as many support meetings as I can. I figure its free therapy (led by one of the psychologists from my surgeon's office) and I do learn something new at every meeting (either from the psych or from one of the more experienced bandsters). We have a lot that go to the meeting that are at goal.

OK, so earlier in the day I had an odd discussion w/my 4 yr old daughter. On the way to preschool, she told me in the car that she wished I never had surgery. Yes, I've told everyone about the surgery, even my 4 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. They know it is to help mommy get healthy and they seemed happy w/that explanation before surgery. So, it totally throws me off that now my daughter is saying she wishes I didn't have surgery. :huh2:

I told her I'm all healed now, feeling great, and that its really working so I'm happy I had surgery... and ask her why she wishes I didn't. And, she said its because I can't eat dessert anymore and she wants me to eat dessert w/them. I explained to her that I CAN eat dessert, but I'm just choosing not to because it is healthier for me to not eat it. But, for a 4 yr old, the idea of delayed gratification or doing something for one's health is just not a concept that can be easily understood.

Long story short (woops, too late!), the advice I got from the psych is that he thinks I should eat a little dessert (not just for the kids, but for me too). He said that I'm slipping back into a 'diet mentality' of deprivation and extremes. Well, he didn't put it that bluntly, but I got the point. And, man, is he ever right on!!! :biggrin:

I knew going into this that my biggest challenge would be embracing moderation and no longer living in the extremes. I just didn't realize that I had slipped back into an extreme. And, he also doesn't approve of my rule of no alcohol and exercise every day until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month. He considers that diet mentality as well and too strict. But, I have a feeling that the dietician and exercise physiologist would feel different about that! LOL :thumbup:

Anyway, so I've decided I will eat a little bit of dessert when my family has dessert, but still not sure if I will give up my 10 pound per month goal. I figure I'll stick to it until this month's 10 pounds are gone and then see how I feel. I only have 6 pounds more to make my 10 pounds this month (my month goes 2/17-3/17) and I've been losing fast since I gave up the alcohol and started exercising every day. Ultimately, I have to do what works for me and even though he may be a great psych, it is still just advice and my choice what to do with it. But, definitely food for thought. :cool:

It is always interesting to me to hear people's challenges and goals. Thank you so much for sharing! I agree that I also struggle with extremes and have made some committments to myself not to do that. It sounds like you are really thinking it through.

Good luck!!

Yes, thanks for sharing. It didn't even dawn on me that I will not be dieting once banded. Embracing moderation? Hmmmmmm. That's a novel concept. I guess thats how regular people do it. LOL

Eat the dessert!!!! I had this same discussion with my kid's and really its just passing on your extremes to the next generation, have a bit and enjoy it.

Cheers Chooky

I want to update that yesterday I bought two big chocolate chip cookies for my kids to have as a snack as we were running errands in the car. It suddenly occurred to me that I had done it again... gave them a sweet and taken none for myself. So, I asked my daughter for a piece of her cookie (halfway expecting she would not want to share LOL), but she gave me a piece and I made all kinds of oooos and ahhhs over how yummy it was. And, it was really yummy. :->