I blew it... For the first time in my five months since banding I don't feel in control. I have been feeling generally blue the last couple of days and can't say why...not TOM or anything and nothing going wrong in life etc I just am!

Today I wasn't bad when I woke up and started off OK by just eating a yoghurt for breakfast. I did some errands and house jobs and then I got ready to walk on my treadmill...my knee was killing me. I put on my brace and tried again. I even tried to walk limping and holding on to bars...no can do. I don't remember doing anything to my knee, it just went.

I started nibbling and have just eaten and eaten since...another yoghurt, with chocolate bits, an egg and cheese sandwich 2 cookies from upstairs an ice-cream and a bag of chips and an iced coffee with sugar..God knows what my suagr levles will be now. To be honest I dunno how it all went down...was over a few hours mind and I feel stuffed and sad and deflated and out of control...I am scared to death that now I did this I wont be able to stop myself and I don't want to feel like that again...

Hopefully I can take stock and when knee is better tomorrow i'll just get back on doing what I was doing. We're all human but this came from nowhere and it's scary the power these damned demons have when they finally get a hold...

Am not going to give in to this mood..I will be better and I will move on...to tomorrow then!

Hi, try not to fret too much about this, just be careful in the future. I went back to read your other journal entries (and your profile). My degree is in Psychology (not a doc-just interested though) ...it seems that you are having outside issues that are swinging your moods. I think talking to someone might help. (once these moods take hold they are hard to shake..and then they make us do things we don't have control of). You live in Greece? How cool is that!!! I was gonna suggest walking but i read your knees are bugging you. Do you have hobbies? Lately when i feel tired, i force myself to go outside and do something productive...weeding, mowing the lawn..stuff like that, because i know otherwise I'd nap and I can't lose weight if I am laying on the couch! Don't be too hard on yourself, we are all only human. Take care!

you ate - it's done - move on girl -- oh and get another FILL - remember you don't know how much you have AHEM so get another fill NOW!!! love ya girl! always -- hang in there............

Thanks ladies for the comments...I tend to go with the flow and so am relieved to be feeling better.

Fill..umm dunno, if Im back on track and still dont lose then I will but if Im losing I wont just yet....