My first fill
I haven't blogged in a long time. I don't know why. I think life (and the Words With Friends game) got in the way.
Since we last talked, I got stuck and PBed twice. Both times were from not chewing well enough. It is a terrible feeling and I do not recommend it. I felt like I was choking but I could still breathe. I started to sweat and panic. MY heart raced. I felt like I wanted to belch or vomit. When it finally came up, it felt weird. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like vomitting from my esophagus.
I have been super lucky and have been able to eat everything I want, just in smaller amounts. I have no problem with eggs or pasta or celery or any of the foods they warned me about. I haven't really tried soda since I never really drank much of it anyway. I have had a sip or two of my husband's Dr. Pepper and felt fine, though.
I am still logging my food on MyFitnessPal and have only gone over budget once, by 5 calories (see the Chili's story below). I am even getting the proper amount of protein now, thanks to the Bolthouse protein drinks that taste awesome!
Areas of weakness have been:
1) Cheese balls---About 10 years ago, my friend found THE BEST CHEESE BALL on the planet. They were called Krack-O-Pop and were sold at Walgreen's in a white bucket. We were sure they put crack in them, thus the name. They were that good. We bought all Walgreen's had. Then, they disappeared. Like Indiana Jones, I have been searching for the Holy Grail of Cheese Balls ever since. Leave it to me to get a lap band and finally find them. This brand is called Bickel's of York and I found them at Dollar General. The ones on the bottom taste almost like Krack-o-Pop. The problem is getting to the bottom.
The first bucket, I ate over the course of 4 days. I could have eaten more because they go down easy, but I controlled myself. 4 days at 140 cals a pop...not too bad. But I would rather save those calories.
Now, I am just wasting the ones on top, instead. This means I am paying 4.50 for a handful of bottom puffs but saving the calories makes it worth every penny.
2) Sweet Tea---I am addicted to sweet tea and fakes sugars taste yucky to me though I can handle Splenda in small amounts. So, when I go out, I either use the Splenda or I do half sweet/half unsweet. At home, I cut the sugar down to about 1/4 of what I used to have.
Luckily, my taste for sweets has changed. Maybe it was all the fasting and pre/post dieting but the first time I took a sip of sweet tea from my favorite restaurant, I gagged because it was as sweet as syrup.
3) Tricky restaurants---We rarely eat out so when we do, I prefer a real restaurant with food cooked on the premises, as opposed to chain restaurants which are basically, glorified microwave eateries. HOWEVER, Hubs and I were recently seduced by the 20.00-per-couple deal at Chili's after a long day of walking around the Flea Market.
For 20 dollars you get a salad, an appetizer, two entrees and a desert. I thought I chose wisely with no dressing on my salad, skipping the appetizer, and choosing the mini tacos.
I ended up eating a few of Hubs appetizers because they looked really good, though. (They weren't)
Then the entrees came. The mini tacos are not mini. They are regular sized, fyi. And the desert was a monstrosity of cake/cookie bar/syrupy/ice-creamy goodness.
All in all, I ate half of the salad, a couple bites of cheese-fries, one taco, and 1/2 of the desert. So, imagine my surprise when I logged it later and found that I spent nearly my entire day's calorie ration on that one (mediocre) meal. Not happy!
It reminds me of the time, preband, when I made the "right" choice to order salad instead of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. The salad ended up having more calories than the cheesecake. Not fair.
Here is how the fill went:
big table, waiting for the camera to warm up and talking with Doc about how restaurants trick you into eating their high-cal food. Then, a little stick into the port area for numbing.
At this point, I was distracted with a big sip of barium and water by Nurse/PA. However, I happened to glance over at Doc and see the BIGGEST NEEDLE on the planet. I nearly passed out from fear and I am not afraid of needles. I turned away and felt nothing, luckily. Before I knew it, I was done. I forgot to ask how much he put in but he said it was "Just a little".
I was actually surprised that Doc wanted to give me a fill at all. I thought I wouldn't get one unless I was gaining weight. He asked me if I felt any restriction. I wasn't sure how to answer. I mean, I haven't noticed "the band in action". I haven't felt "full" but I have felt satisfied. I am losing weight not feeling deprived, I figured it was all good. But he said it sounded like I needed a little fluid so I agreed.
Aside from my lap-band stuff, we adopted another cat. Just what we need, I know. But I couldn't resist. His owner died and he had to leave all of his friends. He is a sweet fatty named Fred and I love him. Now, we have 4 cats, 2 dogs, and a bunny.
I am also desperately looking for work. My husband was released with only a few week's warning (at Christmas) from his Army wounded warrior program--WTU. What that means is, he is unemployed except for his National Guard work once a month. After spending over a year in the program, trying to assimilate back to civilian life, he is finding that there is no work for him in law enforcement or security (or anywhere). Everyday, he tries to run back to the "security" of military life but even they don't have work for his specialties (Military Police and truck driver). I am worried he is going to freak out and volunteer for deployment or sign up with one of the Iraq/Afghanistan security outfits if he doesn't find something soon. He has already served 5 tours, has PTSD and has had foot surgery from military work. Enough is enough already! I just want him to find a civilian job and stay in the Guard for the next four years in order to get his retirement. Is that asking too much?
There isn't much out there for me either.
I tried freelancing but always get screwed in the end for payment. I have clients coming at me from everywhere but nobody can afford to pay me, it seems. My husband has banned me from taking any more volunteer, free or trade work. Though, I am secretly preparing medical illustrations to try and sell on istock.
Employers who are looking for graphic designers seem to want cheap entry-level staff. I even had to "dumb down" my resume to apply for a lot of them and I am still overqualified. At this point, I will take anything. I even applied to work the stock room at Target. I love Target and wouldn't mind working in the back where I wouldn't have to deal with people. But they don't want me, either. (They might reconsider next week when I am too broke to shop there and they actually notice the difference on their sales sheets).
So if any of you know anyone in the Dallas/Fort Worth area who needs a security professional (or anything that's outdoorsy), or a graphic designer, email me. You can check out samples of my work here:
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