So I am almost there, almost ready to get the big day on the calendar and I am still 99.9% sure I want this but there is that one little tiny voice lingering in teh way back of my mind asking me if I am sure, and I know I am but it is hard not to be nervous, yes there are risks involved here but I want it so bad.

Did you have that itty bitty voice? What did you do to calm your fears?

I am a mom of 2 small children, I have been overweight now for 7 years and each year seems to creep up another 10 pounds, I have tried to do it alone and had no luck, my kids come first it is just how it is, so I have been over looked for 7 years, which is ok, but I am at 256 now, my BMI is at 41 and I don't want to be in this same boat in a year from now, 2 years from now, 5 years from now etc.

I cannot wait to do this for me.

Please share your experiences with me!

ok so today is my surgery day in fact it is 430am and in 12 hours my surgery will be over. i am so nervous and anxious. i have a hard time imagining my life any different than it is now. but i want it to be. i want to be able to have the energy to play with my kids i want feel healthy.

but yes i am scared and i know in my mind that my stomach will be full with just a little after surgery but right now after 3 days of clear liquids and protien shakes and now having nothing to eat since midnight my stomach doesnt understand that.

i think the things that are getting me through is support of a few close friends and my hubby and then my wants.....my "u deserve this amy"

i have been so excited to get this done and the closer i get the more the butterflies turn into belly flops.

but i am treating today as my new birthday. hope all goes well for you and keep us updated.

what day is your surgery?