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I didn't realize it was going to be this hard.

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bluestategirl

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So I'm now about 4 months out from my surgery and I've hit a plateau. I cannot seem to break 180 and I'm yo-yo-ing between 182 and 185. I really don't think there is enough fluid in my band because I can definitely eat way too much. I've only had a few moment where I really have felt the restriction. Maybe I'm eating too slow? I don't know. Anyway I've started a new training schedule to prepare for running a 5k run in June. It's a benefit for WEAVE and I think it will be really great to give something back to my community. It's been a little depressing lately with all the changes going on in my life. I spent most of yesterday in tears and I can't really figure out why. My job is really getting to me and in the midst of trying to be grateful that I even have a job I can't help but feel resentful that the job I have is one I hate so much. I just didn't realize that having this surgery was going to be this hard. All I think about is how far away from my goal I am. I was starting to feel better about myself after having lost over 50 pounds but this plateau has made it really difficult for me. I still have a long way to go. I'm really hoping that training for this 5k is going to help me reach my goal. I have a hard time focusing on the here and now and that keeps me stuck in the same place. I have a follow up appointment soon I think and I'll ask for more fluid in my band. I'm hoping that is going to help me more. I was running today and thinking about Lent because it is starting on February 17th. I am trying to think of what to give up for the season. Possibly sugar? My 31st birthday is on the 24th and I wonder if God would be offended if I broke my sugar fast for it. That's the problem with having a birthday that is right in the middle of Lent. Turning 31 is going to be worse than turning 30 I think. I really thought that this last year would be really great and that I'd meet someone but it actually turned out to be not a very good year. I hope that this next year is going to be better. I would like to be at my goal weight by the time I turn 32. That's a little over a year to lose about 80 pounds. In my New Year's resolutions I resolved to be a more positive person this year and to do all the things I've been saying that I was going to do but haven't done yet. So by the end of the year I hope to have enough saved to go to Paris. It's the one thing that I've never done that I wish and wish that I had. I don't want to wake up one day and be 50 and realize that my life has passed me by. Anyway. Having the surgery was a really good thing for me because I'm learning how to appreciate food and enjoy exercising. I just didn't think it was going to be this hard.:)

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So I'm now about 4 months out from my surgery and I've hit a plateau. I cannot seem to break 180 and I'm yo-yo-ing between 182 and 185. I really don't think there is enough fluid in my band because I can definitely eat way too much. I've only had a few moment where I really have felt the restriction. Maybe I'm eating too slow? I don't know. Anyway I've started a new training schedule to prepare for running a 5k run in June. It's a benefit for WEAVE and I think it will be really great to give something back to my community. It's been a little depressing lately with all the changes going on in my life. I spent most of yesterday in tears and I can't really figure out why. My job is really getting to me and in the midst of trying to be grateful that I even have a job I can't help but feel resentful that the job I have is one I hate so much. I just didn't realize that having this surgery was going to be this hard. All I think about is how far away from my goal I am. I was starting to feel better about myself after having lost over 50 pounds but this plateau has made it really difficult for me. I still have a long way to go. I'm really hoping that training for this 5k is going to help me reach my goal. I have a hard time focusing on the here and now and that keeps me stuck in the same place. I have a follow up appointment soon I think and I'll ask for more fluid in my band. I'm hoping that is going to help me more. I was running today and thinking about Lent because it is starting on February 17th. I am trying to think of what to give up for the season. Possibly sugar? My 31st birthday is on the 24th and I wonder if God would be offended if I broke my sugar fast for it. That's the problem with having a birthday that is right in the middle of Lent. Turning 31 is going to be worse than turning 30 I think. I really thought that this last year would be really great and that I'd meet someone but it actually turned out to be not a very good year. I hope that this next year is going to be better. I would like to be at my goal weight by the time I turn 32. That's a little over a year to lose about 80 pounds. In my New Year's resolutions I resolved to be a more positive person this year and to do all the things I've been saying that I was going to do but haven't done yet. So by the end of the year I hope to have enough saved to go to Paris. It's the one thing that I've never done that I wish and wish that I had. I don't want to wake up one day and be 50 and realize that my life has passed me by. Anyway. Having the surgery was a really good thing for me because I'm learning how to appreciate food and enjoy exercising. I just didn't think it was going to be this hard.:smile2:

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Hang in there. It will get better. You are young, healthy and headed in the right direction. I wish Lapband had been an option when I was your age. 31 was great - my favorite year ever and it would have been better if I'd lost 50 lbs then. Also, about Lent -- maybe you should think about doing something positive for Lent rather than giving something up. Instead of giving up sugar, why not try to honor God by being a better you. And, do you really think God would be angry with a little sugar on your birthday if you do decide to give it up? You're just in a funk. We've all been there and you'll feel better soon. You've vented now, so move on.

PS - Met my husband when I was 34. You've got plenty of time.

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Be at peace with your band! I do not eat sugar because that and soda are my trigger foods for me. I choose NOT to eat sugar and soda on a daily basis. If I find my mouth hugging a warm and melty sort of chocolate in my mouth I enjoy and let it go I think I have had 3 in seven months. This has been harder for me now that I have had three fills and I am as full as I ever wanted to be. Be patient with yourself and for goodness sake do not get on that scale it will drive you crazy my friend. I have only been weighed at my Dr. office I do not want to get caught in the cycle of on again off again. My head is doing better this way and I eat everything and anything I want. Only a little of it because I get so full so fast. Personally I cannot wait for March 10 when I get weighed again. The weight is falling off because I can feel it. Peace with yourself and all will work it's way out. Best wishes imaluckydog

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Keep it up and hang in there. Sometimes our bodies don't cooperate with our hard work, and then all of a sudden it does. Try not to lose sight of your long-term goal.

I think you've given up enough for Lent. My personal opinion is that God would want you to be gentle with yourself during this time.

Take care.

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I am a little further along (but not much!) from you in years - I am 36 - and at 31 I was exactly the same, like THIS year X, by the time I am 32, Y will have happened. Letting that go was very very liberating, and once I did, things came towards me. I am reading your blog because I am struggling - I have been banded a year and am plateaued at less than a desirable weight and feel like a complete loser. BUT, I am not going to give up. Like you, I am finding that my crack substitue (sugar!) gets through the band quite easily and therefore, I have to work out if I will ever be worthy of a normal sized body. Academically, everyone on this site would say yes, yet we are all struggling with that concept. You are not alone. Stay on the site and keep us informed. Caroline xx

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