The MIL and her sweet hubby had to come to Houston for business. They arrived Weds morning and stayed in a hotel on the north side of town that day. Claimed the 50 miles they would have to drive by staying with us was too great to be of a benefit.

I will never understand that...I don't think. It makes no sense to me that staying in a hotel that is within 50 miles of your son is "easier" than not seeing your own son, who you rarely get to see - and always complain about not seeing enough of. To me, if I'm getting within 50 miles of anyone in my family, I'm gonna see them! But if I had kids - I'd be staying with them and dealing with 50 friggin miles.

But this isn't about that...

Cause she kinda sorta did some redeeming last night. At the very least she reminded me of why I used to think we clicked so well in the first place.

Initially they asked us to drive that 50 miles to see them after a long day of work and sitting in extra traffic to do so. Because of a certain situation my sweet hubby and I are dealing with, we asked to meet in the middle.

The next day they say to us, well, it just won't work out.

But it worked out for the better. Because since it "just wouldn't work out" they decided to stay in Houston an extra day. And not having business on the north side of town on that additional day, they could just come stay with us. So they did. They were there and waiting (inside, of course) when we got home yesterday and we spent a wonderful evening together.

I did my chicken in the crock pot. Take a whole roasting chicken, wash, pat dry, then, sprinkle with salt and pepper and throw just that in the pot. Set the pot to low and when you come home from work or errands or whatever, the chicken is so tender and juicy it's falling apart. (ok, takes about 8 hours min, but more time in the pot on low just makes it better...)

It's SOOOO tender and juicy. And whatever you want to do to it for flavor works as well as doing nothing.

I served that with a zucchini souffle. Wanting less starch, I thought that was a good balance of having A LOT of veggies and a little starch. Mix up a cup of flour, a tsp of baking powder, a pinch of paprika and some salt and pepper; then add 4 beaten eggs; and finally add 1 chopped onion and 3-4 zucchini. I added about a cup of cheese last night - a blend of cheddar, monterey and jack. Throw that in the oven at 350 for about an hour and you get a nice light fluffy thing. It's got bunches of protein - for a veggie/starch dish - and not a lot of carbs. (16 grams) Not something I'd make every day or even often, but for a change of pace and just something different, it was a nice dish.

So we sit down to dinner and they are just in awe over how wonderful the chicken was, how flavorful the zucchini was, and how easily it all came together. As a working person, I gotta say, I DO love the crock pot!

So after dinner was eaten, we set the hot tub to heat. Eventually it was warm enough to move out to stew ourselves and so we did. And once we did, the conversation really relaxed.

And then she did it. She started to redeem herself.

It all started with her bringing up the breakfast casseroles she made the last time we visisted her and when she did, my sweet hubby made sure to mention to her that she cannot make those for me anymore. She made one for me and one for my hubby. My hubby's was a grits casserole. I HATE grits. Can't stand the consistency and generally no flavor unless you add crap. For me, she made a hash brown casserole. And it was LOADED with hash browns. If it had been loaded with sausage and had some hash browns that might have helped but it was about a 1/4 lb of sausage and 3 pounds of hash browns all mixed with about 2 eggs. Anywho, since I AM trying to keep the protein up and the carbs down, that's not a great start to the day. And the interesting thing was, until I ate lunch and could get some protein in me, I was famished. It was kind of interesting to me and really drove a point home (a point I was pretty sure that I had already learned).

So when he said last night, you can't make that stuff for Lori anymore, she said...

I don't remember.

But it did turn into a long conversation about nutrition and dietary needs/concerns/awarenesses/issues.

She is, like sooooo many people, soooo worried about eating "too much meat". And the category "meat" encompassed chicken, fish, etc in this conversation.

I told her about the "equation" to determine how much protein she should be eating in a day. My hubby and I talked about how to take good-for-you-foods and make them better.

And all the while I was kind of getting the impression that, like my sweet hubby, she's going to try and lose weight vicariously through me. What I learn, she employs. What I try - she will too. So from this whole conversation, she's going to go home and 1) eat the protein first, 2) figure out how much protein she needs in a day for her current weight, 3) eat as much protein as she needs instead of trying to cut back on it, 4) use our smoothie ideas and knowledge. Like us, she likes a smoothie best for breakfast but, like so many, has the idea that it should be pretty liquidy and not have any additives (like flaxseed oil or protein powder). My hubby and I have learned that in addition to switching to Fage (finally found it) and adding flaxseed oil, that if it's thicker, it holds us over longer. That whole slider vs. substantial food thing.

She questioned me on the zucchini souffle - good for her. I had never made it before, and while I will make it again, it will be special things like visits from the in-laws. I talked about something I believe which is that I don't want to diet to lose weight. I want to eat normally and more important,healthily. We had a whole long tangential conversation about if you do ketosis to lose the weight (even with the band) and then you get to your ideal weight and then the band is loosened for maintenance weight, well, you could be in trouble if you suddenly have to learn how to eat all over again. Without the band, that switch could be even worse. You should do, to lose weight, what you will do, to maintain weight. Lose weight = less intake. Maintain weight = optimal intake. But if you eat differently for either "phase", well, it could be a recipe for disaster. She agrees. She's going to try for <1200 calories a day until maintenance mode.

Now I have to mention here that both she and my sweet hubby (who is also doing this vicariously through me) would both qualify for Lap-Band®®® surgery. They are both overweight, although in the 35-40 BMI realm, not over 40. MIL would be self-pay so no worries on insurance stuff but my sweet hubby would have to prove co-morbidities for insurance coverage. MIL thinks she can do this on her own. Sweet hubby thinks he can do this on his own.

MIL has never really tried.

Sweet hubby has been trying for years and can only get 20 or so pounds off before it comes back again. I don't know what will happen for either of them but I suspect when (if it can happen at all) it starts to happen, for me, they will say oh...wait...

But they are holding out for now.

And so this conversation in the hot tub went on for well over a couple of hours. And then it led to great conversation in general in which she finally proclaimed, I just miss you guys.

Well, then...start spending time with us - and start letting us spend time with you!. We go see them - and we are heralded around for everything else but time with them. They come see us and we share a meal and then they leave. If you miss us, then let's stop this ridiculousness and spend some time together! Cause we certainly miss them.

So I'm getting pretty long. But it was a pretty good night filled with interesting conversation and even some affirmation. I love affirmation! I used to think I loved her dearly (and, of course, I do still think that) because we could talk so easily and I could say what I thought - which isn't too common, I don't think, especially when it comes to saying what you think to the person you think it about. There was a level of openness between us that I really appreciated! It made me think I'm-so-lucky-in-the-MIL-department. But the lack of visiting started me questioning priorities which left me disappointed. However, the candor last night was great, to me. For example, if one of my neighbors who is judging me about this decision asked me about the souffle, I'd go on the defensive. But with the MIL, I was pleased she questioned it, appreciated her reasoning for questioning it - and she agreed with my answer for why I chose to make it, too. No one has ever said the band is about eating boring, dry, flavorless, uninteresting food. It's about eating less of all of it - good and bad - and really questioning why or how much of the "bad stuff' you need. And the answer to needing bad stuff is YOU DON'T NEED IT. So then Why do you want it? And sometimes, just sometimes, the answer is ok. And sometimes, just sometimes, it's ok to go ahead and eat a very small portion of that bad stuff.

Anyway, if I don't stop here, I will never stop typing...so I'll just finish with...what started out as a long week with too much to process, for my sweet hubby and I, has turned out to be a week full of blessings and revelations. Life is good. (and then I think of Haiti...my heart goes out to the people of Haiti and I wish that my sweet hubby and I could do something and/or more to help than just donate to Red Cross. But at least that's something... sigh....)

Well said GF...all of it! -BG

Good post! Glad she redeemed herself and funny I have the same thing going on, everyone around me is trying to lose weight through me, which I find funny yet flattering.