Well,

Its 10 days till the workshop, I am planning on having my surgery at Cleveland Clinic with Dr. Phillip Shauer. I am probably being too hopeful at this point about being allowed to have the surgery, I still have to be approved by the ins. co. as well as the dr.'s. I guess I passed the preliminary requirements though since they called me back to schedule me for this work shop. It did take some time though since after reviewing my information they also had to get the ok from my oncologist who would not give the go ahead until after my latest set of scans which turned out to be fine (Thank you God:rolleyes: ). I know I meet all of the basic stuff, ie: being at least 100 lbs over ibw...I'm about 135 over, having at least a 5 year history of obesity....try 18 years, having tried numerous commercial and Dr. assisted diets/weight loss programs...well lets see....how big can this journal entry be....started with amphetamines when I was 17 and not even fat, I thought I was but I wasn't at 5'7" and 130 pounds! then did the dexatrim thing that was so popular back in the early 80's. Then the Hilton Head diet (which is actually a pretty good plan if you are disciplined enough to follow it), The whole Susan Powter gamut, (great lady, a little bit of a man hater, but a great motivator),Then Mayo Clinic, Then more dexatrim, then Weight watchers (Great plan for those who enjoy the public rewards and patting ya on the back thing...but really the best plan out there today), Cambridge (yuck yuck and more yuck), Then optifast (Lotsa Money and Lotsa Yuck), Then the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, More weight watchers, Atkins, South Beach, More weight watchers, Revisited Susan Powter (just for a pick me up and because I was newly divorced and I was also a man hater for a little tiny while and then, because I really love sex and men and being in love, I just evolved into an ex husband hater-pitier), Interspersed in all of these commercial attempts were 3 Hypnosis attempts (Can you say too cynical to let the power of suggestion to be anything but a joke), One 3 month stint with redux (I lost 40 pounds in 3 months and didn't even have to try, of course it was ripped from the shelves after people started to keel over from pulmonary embollisms, and hear valve damage....wouldn't ya know it....the only thing that hs ever ever worked and it has to kill people!!! I am so twisted that I searched and searched for it on the black market even though it was deadly....Such is the power of the promise of weight loss and beauty...it's my heroine), the how can I forget Xenical....Oh Xenical the diarrhea drug...there is something to say about shitting yourself at will, or even not at will...It's lovely to put on a pair of panty hose and just have shit oil dripping outta you like you're a leaky oil pan....no not a pretty picture, I only lasted for about a week with that...I had to be at work every day, I didn't have the luxury of laying in bed all day with a diaper on!, the list goes on....ritalin, trim spa, Dr. Phil, metabolife (before and after ephedrine), and I am sure that I am forgetting another 10 or so.

The weight history goes like this:

17 127

19 130

20 151(had my daughter)

23 163

26 178

27 199(had my son)

30 223

32 247

33 207 (redux!)

34 214

35 221

36 223

37 237 (breast cancer)

40 245

41 272 (quit smoking! metastisis of breast cancer to lung)

So...here I am, still alive and healthy except for the cancer which is gone or hiding right now, high cholesterol, and a herniated disk which waxes and wanes.

But heres how I see it. Cancer or not I still want to feel good about my body. I may not be a good long term risk for the insurance company to invest in this surgery because I could live for 2 more years or I could live for 40 more years money's on less than 40 granted but whatever it is, I want to hold my head up high and enjoy the rest of my life being active and riding jet skiis with my son and boating and swimming with my husband. I love life and I want to do this so I hope the math doesn't stop them from giving me this chance, cuz if it does, there is no way I can afford it on my own.

OK I'm off my soap box and getting ready for the Big Game!!! Go Steelers!:clap2: