Happy New Year all! Thank goodness Christmas is over. Instead of the normal x-mas stress, I had extra with this stupid feud with my sister. She refuses to speak to me, so we had to have seperate Christmases with our parents. Isn't that unbelievable?? I found it quite depressing. She got Christmas eve, so I took my hubby and kids to dinner and a movie. We actually had a really good time! That afternoon, hubby, my Dad and I bowled in a tournament. (I beat the boys! LOL!) It ended up being a pretty good day.

Christmas day my folks came over to my house, and we opened gifts, ate xmas dinner and had a really nice day. It wasn't the same, but in some ways, I enjoyed it more.

This whole issue w/ my sister has brought alot of issues to the forefront. My surgeon suggested that I see a psychologist. I don't know that it helps, but I know I need to do something. I've caught myself several times heading to the cabinets for a snack, when I am not hungry. Stuffing my emotions again.

And my weight loss has stalled. I have hit the biggest plateau. I know it's mental. And not doing the things I need to do to take care of myself. Everyday I have to try my hardest to get my protein in, exercise, eat enough of the right things. I'm just so.... mad. Or sad. Probably both.

I need to find a way to get back to that space where I was so hopeful, and felt good about myself. I felt like I could actually reach my goal, and that I deserved it! Somehow, that feeling got taken away by all this negativity and drama. And I miss it!!

I don't want to sound pushy, but read the Bible! Therein and only there lie the answers to real happiness, not in losing weight or getting slim or anything else, I have problems similar in my family with my own children, and I made up my mind to let it go and let God help me with the situation, cause I COULD NOT CHANGE IT! The more I tried, the worse it got. Then I prayed for Gods help, and a week later I got it! The problem child called crying asking me for forgiveness? She was already forgiven before the call came in, but it has been nice ever since! We have to live it in front of them so they can see we have changed. I told them that no matter what they say or do to or about me, I will love them anyway. Love changes everything, so do not stop it! God is love, love hurts and love can build bridges back to a good and normal state.