Happy New Year! Christmas is put up, and the fire place has even been cleaned out. Good thing since it's supposed to be cold in Houston this weekend! Yes, to all you wonderful yanks, I mean cold. Not a southerner/Cali-girl griping about the 60's. COLD. Not supposed to break freezing tomorrow. Low's in the teens and 20's. Windchills in the single digits. I'm lovin it!!! (I miss my year in Chicago...baffles me how I can live in hot places when I thoroughly enjoy the cold as I do...but then I love my summers, too, and being able to swim 3 "seasons" of the year!)

I had my weigh-in appointment today. Appointment number four of six. I was down 2.5 pounds, by their scale.

What's sad about that is it's more! But it's a major weather day and with temps falling to below freezing during the daylight hours, I was NOT going to wear my capris and short-sleeved shirt that I wore for my last visit. So with a sweater and slacks on, I headed for my weigh in. And to be "down" with these bulky clothes on me was good, I think.

Another good thing is it gives me wiggle room. Next month, maybe I can wear those capris and that short sleeved shirt. So I figure it will all come out in the wash.

It was just enough, too. About 2.5 pounds. Enough for them to be wow-ed again by losing weight over the holidays without a band. I keep saying it's not that I can't lose this weight. It's the fear that I have of it coming back again that is driving me to do this!

Every time my hormones adjust for any reason whatsoever, my body responds by packing on weight. I know I am as "at fault" as my hormones are because while my hormones make me hungry all the time, in those cases, it is ME that picks up the food and puts it in my mouth. I know I will have more hormone fluctuations in the future. I hope the band can be there to remind me I don't have to eat a double sized portion of pasta to feel full. I don't normally eat badly, but when I am going through a hormonal fluctuation period, I eat A LOT. And here I am.

And by hormonal fluctuation period I'm not talking about that time of the month. This happens to me when I get off the pill, for example. If anyone has been reading my blog, you've heard this before. But what is new today is that I am finally admitting my very own part in this. It's not all hormones. It's as much that as it is me giving in to the hormones even though I know better. I know that when I get pregnant that I will have a major hormonal fluctuation and my hubby and I hope to multiply that event by 2. And I know how my body responds. Some of these fluctuations have been induced by getting off the pill. Others are just getting older. But they happen. And I don't do well with combating them.

This process has been a definite one of learning. In the future, when the hormones go crazy, it will be on ME to beat them back into submission and hopefully this tool will be there to help me do that.

I have lost 15 pounds in 4 months without really trying. I am actually trying not to on some days. Haven't ever been trying to gain weight. But I'm on that precarious edge of a BMI that isn't "enough". Today I am at 41.2. I have some wiggle room. But not much. I had a moment this morning where I said "crap" cause I put in my normal height. I am 5'6" and 7/8. So almost all places round up - cause it looks better on paper. But, luckily, for this endeavor, places have been rounding down. To 5'6. But when I calculated the BMI - I used my "generally accepted height" and not my "for the records height". And using 5'7", I'm at 39. Using 5'6, I'm at 41. So I think I have to figure out how to slow down - not aiming for 3.5 pounds this month, aiming for 2 again.

Maybe I shouldn't wear the capris and short sleeved shirt, even if weather-wise I could, for the next visit.

I love the RNP I visited today. I think she's great. The absolute perfect mix of friendly, knowledgeable, non-judgemental, helpful; just someone great to have on your side.

I did my blood work this morning so we will see what that says. I'm sure I still have high-cholesterol. It's been high for eons but never high enough to start treating medicinally. The only other thing I had left besides two more appts was to do an EKG which she said we'd do next visit. But when she looked further into my file, since I had to get clearance from a cardiologist and I brought along the EKG from the visits with him and turned them in at a previous visit, she said we are actually good to go. So literally, all I have left is 2 appts.

The blood work was interesting. It was one of those that just left me with 'this phlebotomist needs to be fired'. She stuck me without ever feeling for a vein. And imagine that - she missed it. And then she just dug around, nicely, but digging, nonetheless, for the vein. Filled up the first vial, popped in the next. Filled up the second vial, popped in the next. Filled up the third vial, popped in the next. And in that last switch she lost the vein. So she starts digging around again! Couldn't find it so she picks up the third vial and sticks the needle in that to get blood into the fourth vial. Both the third and fourth vials did not have or need any serum, so should be ok, and since I watched it all, nothing was cross-contaminated. But I do hate that. On the other hand, my alternative was for her to stick me again and I certainly was NOT ok with that!

Nonetheless, I have this feeling of 'who can I call to report this'? Cause this stuff leads to some questionable stuff and if she'd understood how to stick someone in the first place, it all could have been avoided.

Add this to she kept me and another gentleman waiting for 20 minutes so that she could visit with a friend who dropped in to say hi. Just not stuff I'm ok with....

I suspect time will slow down for me, now. Getting through the holidays was a pretty major distraction. But luckily it's only two more months and at least this ridiculous program is over. I have no idea how this will play out or where it will all go but I can only hope. But I will feel so much better when this "unweightloss" program is behind me!

Of course, continuing to knit and etch and now sew and I need to go shopping for some cross-stitch stuff...well that might keep me distracted a little.

The etched glass was all a hit - some people I expected to say "oh, wow" and then some people I expected to say "holy moly, wow - you did this?" Namely, I expected the SIL to be the "oh wow" and the MIL to be the "holy moly, wow - you did this?". What I actually got was

SIL = "holy moly, wow - you did this?"

MIL = ooh, thanks.

In other news, the MIL just keeps digging herself in further and further. My sweet hubby is about done with her...although not writing her off. But he is hurt and sad, among many other things. Maybe that will be my next blog - all the crazy things she thinks and says and how it's affecting her attitude towards us. Suffice it to say that the BIL and his wife (the awesome SIL who claimed "holy moly, wow - you did this?") are feeling the same way we are. And the four of us have kind of banded together. So that's pretty cool for now...

I hope everyone is staying warm! I can't wait to get home and get a fire going in the fireplace. We buy our wood by the 1/2 cord and that generally lasts us two seasons. But this season has been a bit cooler than normal so we've gone through the wood faster and will probably have to restock that 1/2 cord within the month. That just makes me giddy with glee. I love cold and I love fires in the fireplace!

And that's about all I have...

It seems like a while since we've heard from you. It's good to get an update on your endeavors! Glad you are enjoying the cold, but this TX girl has had quite enough!!

You're doing perfectly on the 6 mo. undiet! I'm sending you more cold air...want some snow? -BG

Snow sounds great. If you can get it here almost immediately that would really help my day resolve in a way more in tune with my desires at the moment....