Who knew I would ever feel so wonderful? Being healthy and thin was always such a dream to me and now I am living the dream. Although I have a few more pounds to go I feel beautiful and alive!

I got my fill back this week but we did not put the full 1cc back in. I am at 5.4cc and I think I'd like to see how that feels for a couple of weeks before going back to 5.6cc. I am getting close to goal and I seemed to get stuck on simple things at 5.6cc. Maybe I was taking too big of bites, or not chewing but while I was unfilled I kinda reset myself. I did the clear liquid diet for three days, then soft foods.

Today I am back at soft foods because I just had my fill just a few days.

My new workout program seems to be working. I wish you could have seen me on day one when I ended my workout in tears. I still can't do a full push-up but I am on day 12 and can do a half of one! (giggle) Hey, it's progress! I'm still in the 180's, up two, down two. My nutritionist said with the new workout program and having an unfill that is normal. So I am hovering around 181 to 184, but now that I got my fill I see me hitting 180 soon! That will put me in the 100lbs lost club! Oh the joy of it all.

On January 6th, my son celebrated his 23rd birthday. I was going through my photos and found a photo of me from his birthday last year. I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT ANYMORE! I was so shocked, so happy, and even more motivated to get to my goal by my 40th birthday (Feb 23).

When I showed my son and hubby my comparison photos both of them stood in disbelief. I mean, they saw me everyday, they knew and loved me at 280 but they really had no clue just how much danger I was in with all the weight. Hubby said...I remember taking those photos are our son's party and thinking...her weight is up a little bit, but it was not until recently that I realized just how much pain you were in. (to see the comparison photo, follow the link at the bottom of this blog)

You see....I would come home from 14-16 hour work days and crash out hard. I am a realtor so showing houses was one of the hardest things for me....AND don't let there be stairs....LORD HELP! We'd pig out on football games....pizza, wings, popcorn, candy....it was all an excuse for me. I now see it as clear as a blue sky.

I would not take band photos with my husband because I was 280! I looked horrible....who wants to see a band with a lead female vocalist who does not fit the mold? I was afraid if I took those photos, clubs would not book my husband because of me. So I let another singer shine in those photos and I secretly died a little inside.

I can't tell you just how much this surgery has changed my whole life.

People look at me now. You know what I mean? When you are fat you are invisible to people or they judge you immediately based on what you look like! You know the story! Some people know they do it and others do it without really knowing they are hurting you.

Comments like...."hey you sure have a pretty face" sound like compliments, but in the back of your mind you know what else they are thinking....

I have always been a friendly person. I'd speak to people I did not know when in passing. Lots of times they would find a reason to look a way. That has changed! People speak to me first and it's a shock to me.

Last week I had to walk to an appointment. I work downtown so I pass lots of buildings where you can see your reflection. I'd never look over because I'd hate to see myself. Well, I got a glimpce of myself and stopped in my tracks....could that person starring back at me really be me? I was shocked by my own reflection!

I love photos now and I am pushing hubby to take new band photos (giggle) Yes, a little selfish I know but he understands.

But what really made me happy....at my son's birthday bash, I really had a ball! I danced with him, I met all his friends with a huge "REAL" smile on my face and I felt BEAUTIFUL! (party photo attached)

For the first time in my life.....I REALLY FEEL BEAUTIFUL!

Oh, what a journey this has been and even though you always see me close out my blogs with....I am blessed......I feel it to my core.

Oh yes friends.....I AM TRULY - TRULY BLESSED!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/members/57955-albums3475-picture29503.jpg

Laura...thanks for sharing. Yes...I do know what people think in the back of their minds and it hurts. I sure hope I am able to get my surgery his year so I can feel the joy that you are feeling. Thanks for posting everything!

WOW....you have taken away years as well as weight you look ten years younger...GREAT JOB!!!!!

You FEEL beautiful because you ARE beautiful!!! WOW! You continue to astound me girl! You're going to be in that Century Club soon! -BG