many thoughts... so far lost 71 pounds in 10 months. I think its awesome and I definitely could not have done it without the band. I never thought I could be a pant size 8... it's amazing. However I have some doubts and worries...

1. People at work are always looking at me... I know it sounds paranoid, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

2. I get tons of attention both negative and positive.

3. Im worried b/c I haven't told people about the band... and I don't want them to know but at the same time I almost feel like Im being dishonest.

4. Without the band I can't control myself around food. but with the band I find myself wanting to eat even when Im not hungry, or when I know Im at the brink of vomiting... Ill still try to eat more and then end up vomiting. Its absolute insanity.

5. I want to be at goal weight in a year...I have two more months and Im hoping I don't set myself up to fail.

6. despite what everyone tells me....I still see myself as a fat person... trying to cope with that.

7. New love interest... do I tell him that I am banded?

8. Still battling a war with food even with the band. HEAD HUNGER KILLS!

9. I get anxious going out to eat or around people with food and even having to eat in front of people...

10. Scared to gain weight back... and I am forever ffffreeeeezing!

11. LOVE SHOPPING! lol

any thoughts guys! thanks

Yep, they need a 'head band'...the first step for me on that path was (after differentiating between hunger and head hunger) letting myself feel the emotions I was having when head hunger strikes (whithout stuffing it away with food)...harder still was trying to identify which emotion it was and much harder...triggers. Best wishes! -BG

1. People at work are always looking at me... I know it sounds paranoid, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Let them look, chances are they're just jealous. 10 months is alot of time, YOU did this, not just your band so hold your head up and give them something to talk about.

2. I get tons of attention both negative and positive. This is to be expected.

3. Im worried b/c I haven't told people about the band... and I don't want them to know but at the same time I almost feel like Im being dishonest. It's nobody's business but yours. Just because somebody knows you doesn't give them instant access to your life and situation. It equates to, would you walk around showing these people your medical records? If not, then chances are they don't need to know.

4. Without the band I can't control myself around food. but with the band I find myself wanting to eat even when Im not hungry, or when I know Im at the brink of vomiting... Ill still try to eat more and then end up vomiting. Its absolute insanity. Head hunger, you have to deal with the underlying issues. Or sometimes it's just because food tastes good. Just have to be stronger than the food.

5. I want to be at goal weight in a year...I have two more months and Im hoping I don't set myself up to fail. Not sure what your goal weight is, but 71lbs in 10 months is awesome, I'm sure you'll get there.

6. despite what everyone tells me....I still see myself as a fat person... trying to cope with that. And you probably always will. I still look at booths at restraunts, roller coasters, etc and thing I can't fit in that..and I can, easily, with extra room. But I still feel like I'm "that" big.

7. New love interest... do I tell him that I am banded? Depends on how serious you are with him. This is a hard one for me, I haven't told mine, but I intend to, once I see how sincere his interest is. But he's a different case, we dated before so I know he likes/loves me either way. If I were dating somebody completely new who didn't know me when I was fat, I would tell them once I decided I was serious about them and/or their possibility because if they're with me, they have to be able to love me either way. Not to mention the eventual physical part, they'll know what the scars are and not ask in some awkward pillow talk lol

8. Still battling a war with food even with the band. HEAD HUNGER KILLS! You can over come it... recognizing it, it's the bulk of the battle.

9. I get anxious going out to eat or around people with food and even having to eat in front of people... Why? Do you think they'll "know" or something? I went out with a group of people for the first time since being banded and it was so natural. I talked and ate, ate and talked, no I couldn't finish my food but nobody "noticed".

10. Scared to gain weight back... and I am forever ffffreeeeezing! LOL Understandable but have no fear, you KNOW how to lose it, YOU did this, the band was just a tool to help you do it. You're in control. And it's the loss of your um "insulation" lol. Brrrr, with the 42lbs I've lost I've been colder myself and I'm ALWAYS warm/hot.

11. LOVE SHOPPING! lol LOL me too.. can't wait to do some more of it!

Wow! YMJackson1's comments are great. Re: #6, even when I was skinny I thought I was fat! Seriously, I am not exaggerating. I was looking at photos when I was 140 pounds and remember talking with friends about how fat I was. As women we're terrible about this. We gotta give ourselves a break!

Thank you so much for the advice guys... it is greatly appreciated. This is a long and hard journey... but we can and will overcome all obstacles.

BG- I will have to figure out the underlying reasons why I want to food. That may suppress some of the triggers.

ymjackson1- congrats on the 42lbs!

So that is what it is called...."HEAD HUNGER". I remember so many times when my band was tight and then I had an unfill so I could eat and drink water again. Well from starving to eating was bad enough for me. Then I remember eating after eating knowing I was not hungry. I think I need to begin focusing on the underlying issues too. I believe some of my issues are overwhelmed with life, bordom, wanting to eat fast foods like skinny people which they eat a couple of bites and then they are full, tired of being alone, etc. I am trying to start over beginning this week and move forward. I have never had a steady support group and tried to do it all on my own. Well this week I have recently started to get more involved with this web site because I realize I need all the support I can get!!