Nobody ever said "Hey you are getting really fat these day's".

If I am honest I wouldn't of listened anyway but........ Holy Sh***t when did it happen???:thumbup:

What has brought this on? Well the whole house is asleep and not a creature is stirring not even a mouse, except for me who was lokking for a book and then started looking at a couple of old photo albums and it has left me in shock. Fat engagement , fat birthdays , fat weddings, (mine and others) fat look at my new baby's , fat on a camel ( i am so sorry but I had lost weight!!!):frown:fat in the pool, fat on holiday.. fat fat fat.... HUGE . My poor baby looked so tiny, I look miserable in all the photo's, I wasn't it was just the way the fat pulled my face down.

I feel such sadness looking at this person, which is strange because it's as if I am grieving for someone or something I don't even know. Really its just horriffic to see myself like that and know how bad I felt all the time.

7 Months down the lapband track and lost 40kg I just think of all the hate and anger I carried around all the time, it's like as the wieght has gone that has too. But how do I say sorry to all those people I hid from, or lashed out at because I couldn't stand being me so made up all sort of irrattional ways in my head to excuse myself from the situations or pick at the slightest faults, to hide my huge one, how do I get back those lost years with my babies, who just annoyed me with thier demands for my time and making me do things other mums could and I couldn't, not because of some terrible thing but because i was fat, I can't get it back. How could I of loved food more than them???

I feel truly sorry for that woman who has wasted so much time and hated herself and so many around her for so long and I am sorry for her stupidity because those people still love her and the shame is a killer, but....

I've written this with out a real connection to her, its as if I am looking at someone I knew a long time ago and strangly feel as if I am grieving For Her???????? Moved on and away from her, n ot feeling confused because I am happy and sunny days are fun, not looking over my shoulder for something all the time and wondering whats missing. Well it's her and finding those photo's made me realise it, she's gone and I am moving on and it's sad but it's good, I am done with her and her crap so is my family.

I feel everyday I am finding something in me that was always there but I wouldn't look for and its peaceful, its not confused and angry its just nice, there are a lot of butterflies in my garden I never noticed them before but they are everywhere and I just sit and watch them, they just resonate calm, they have always been there year in year out I got told, go figure hey I just noticed them.

Peace + calm to you all

Cheers Chooky

Hi, I too have been somewhat grieving for the fat bitch but she is gone. I look normal. My family says "you look normal now" I just never knew what normal felt like or looked like. I also have that calmness I never had that before. Is it the band or the fact we have to eat so much less? Maybe it is the healthy foods I must eat? I am perpetually happy all the time, wake up with a smile go to bed with a smile. Like in "ELF" I like Smiling, Smiling is my Favorite. Best wishes and have a great day. imaluckydog

i can not wait to be like that. i am still so tired and crabby. i will get there.

Aside from the part about your children, the rest is all me...but I'm still that fat woman. I see now that that has been my life thus far. I lash out at my poor hubby, I act like a bitch to other people and then blame everything that happens to me on my weight. I never want to go anywhere. I make excuses as to why I can't go places. I feel like everyone is judging me on my weight and when people don't seem to like me I blame it on my weight. I'm sure it is my weight in a way but most likely some people don't always enjoy being around me because of how I act because of my weight. Well, I'm going to do something about it! :thumbup: Congrats on your success thus far and I hope to be where you are soon!